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THE 

PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 














































The Pussycat Princess 




THE 

PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 

A FAIRY TALE FOR BOYS, GIRLS, PARENTS 
AND OTHER CHILDREN 

BY 

EDWARD ANTHONY 

Author of *’Merry-Go-Roundelays” 


WITH A SERIES OF 
PHOTOGRAPHIC ANIMAL STUDIES BY 

HARRY WHITTIER FREES 



PUBLISHED BY THE CENTURY CO. 
NEW YORK MCMXXII 




Copyright, 1922, by 

The Century Co. 

Copyright, 1922, bV 
Harper and Brothers 


Copyright, 1921, by 
The Sun-Herald Corporation 




PRINTED IN TJ. S. A. 



©C1A683496 


TO THE MEMORY OF MY MOTHER 
—AND A RARE SENSE OF HUMOR 



SONG OF THE COMING OF CATS AND DOGS 


(In which a little girl wonders how they came to be.) 

“Oh, how came dogs and cats to be*?” 

I said to dad; “it puzzles me.” 

And daddy smiled and said, “Miss Dimple, 

The thing you ask is very simple. 

I ’ll tell it to you for a kiss,” 

And, when I ’d kissed him, told me this : 

“A-many years ago , my dear , 

Upon an evening wild 
’T was raining cats and dogs , I hear , 

And that explains it, child.” 

That sounded very strange to me, 

It seemed a fairy tale, you see, 

And so I thought, “I ’ll ask my mother; 

She ’ll tell me — or perhaps big brother.” 

And when I asked her, mother said, 

Of course, I ’ll tell you, Curlyhead : 

“Now, this is how they came to he — 

Upon a distant hill, C! 

The dog grows on the dogwood-tree 
And the cat on the pussywillow /” 

And brother’s tale is different too, 

And so is that of Sister Sue. 

How queer that they should differ so! 

I do not think I ’ll ever know. 



LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 


The Pussycat Princess Frontispiece 

PAGE 

The Princess Seeks the King’s Permission to Leave the Palace . . 14 

The Princess Leaving the Palace with Her Governess, Doggie 

Dorothy 19 

Pussies at the Roadside Cheering the Passing Princess .... 22 

The Princess Mee-owing on Violet’s Back-Fence 26 

The Princess Meets the Naughty Doggie Dorothy at the Circus . 43 

The Lady Driver Scolding the Traffic Policeman 50 

The Tabbyland Market-Place 55 

Nursie Rose Rover and Pussies Julia, Alice, and Louise .... 56 

“Mice Cream! Nice Fresh Mice Cream!” 57 

Sally Smith, the Champion Rope-Skipper of Tabbyland .... 60 

The King and Queen of Tabbyland Greeting the Princess on Her 

Return to the Palace 67 

King Thomas, Food Taster 72 

The Cook Catches a Mouse in the Layer Cake 73 

The Court Jester of Tabbyland 77 

Charlie and Katie Katorze Stealing Catbird Eggs 84 

Charlie and Katie Katorze Fishing 87 

Louis Katorze, the Court Magician, Performing a Miracle 95 

Naughty Doggie Dorothy in Prison 97 

Doggie Danny Leaving for Dogland with Doggie Dorothy’s Message 

to King Fido . 99 


LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 

PAGE 

War Declared on Tabbyland 105; 

The Puppy Pop-Gunners 114 

Brave Rudolph Flying over the Dogland Lines 119 

Damage Done by the Dogs in Their Advance on Tabbyland . . . 12 ^ 


Before the Tabbyland Camp. Waiting for the Dogland Advance . 129 
The S. S. Princess Pauline, Flagship of the Tabbyland Navy . >131 
The Fuzzy-Wuzzy Cannon-Bailers Aiming at King Thomas . .132 


The Princess Pauline a Prisoner 138 

Field Hospital in the Dogland Camp 141 

King Fido and King Thomas Fighting Their Duel 144 

Poor Lucy Softfurr Whom the Princess Befriends 149 

The Tabbyland Santa Claus .... 153 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 







THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


CHAPTER I 

If some one tried to drown me, I 
Should be disturbed a lot ; 

I ’ m sure that I ’d let out a cry — 
A loud one, like as not. 


For drowning is a nuisance. Those 
Who try it seldom budge ; 

They cannot go to picture shows 
Or munch on cake and fudge. 


No wonder that a pussycat 
Old Grummbel tried to drown 
Set up a noisy howling that 
Was heard all over town. 


M 


EE-OW!” 

“MEE-OW!” 

Little Violet Valery, who was sitting in her room 
making a party dress for her youngest doll, started in alarm as 
she heard the cries. 

‘‘Where does that mee-owing come from?” she asked her- 
self. “I do believe some cat is in distress.” 

“MEE-OW!” 

“Goodness me! It sounds as if the poor pussycat is right 
in this house,” continued Violet to herself. “I must go to 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


4 

see,” she said, addressing her doll. “I ’ll be right back, Be- 
linda; and don’t get into any mischief while I am gone.” 
“MEE-OW!” 

Violet dashed into the living-room, but she found no pussy 
there. 

“MEE-OW!” 

The unhappy pussycat, wherever she was, seemed in greater 
misery than ever. The cry could not have been more pitiful 
if it had come from a cat that had tried to swallow a large, fat 
mouse that had got stuck in her throat and refused to go down. 
But this is nonsense. How could a pussy howl if she had a 
mouse stuck in her throat*? 

“MEE-OW!” 

By this time Violet had searched through every room but 
the kitchen without finding a trace of the miserable pussy. 
Entering the kitchen she asked her mother, who was preparing 
dinner: “Mother dear, is there a stray cat in here 4 ? I have 
heard one mee-owing all morning.” 

“There is no pussy here, dear. Those cries sound as if they 
come from the apartment below where cross old Mr. Grumm- 
bel lives.” 

“MEE-OW! MEE-OW!” 

“That is so, Mother!” exclaimed Violet. “The sounds do 
come from there. I am afraid some poor little kitty has 
strayed into Mr. Grummbel’s house and he is hurting her.” 

“I am afraid so too, child,” said Violet’s mother. “It seems 
a pity.” 

“Oh, Mother, may I go down and ask Mr. Grummbel to give 
me the kitty 4 ?” 

44 You may, dear, but be very polite. He is the crossest man 
I have ever seen.” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


5 

In an instant Violet was on her way downstairs. Soon she 
was rapping on Mr. Grummbers door. A maid opened the 
door and let her in. 

“May I see Mr. Grummbel, please 4 ?” asked Violet. 

“He is very busy,” said the maid. 

“MEE-OW! MEE-OW!” 

This time the cries were so loud that Violet knew the kitten 
was in Mr. Grummbel’s home. 

“Oh, please, ask him to see me!” begged Violet. 

“He can’t see any one,” said the maid. “He told me so be- 
fore.” 

As the maid said this, Violet heard the loudest and most 
pitiful mee-owing that she had ever heard. “The pussy must 
be dying,” she thought. 

Paying no attention to the maid, she rushed across the floor 
and did not stop until she reached the kitchen. 

There she saw a most interesting sight. Mr. Grummbel 
was standing over a brimming basin, in the act of forcing a 
pretty gray kitten under the water. 

“He is giving her a bath,” thought Violet, “and she is afraid 
of the water.” 

“Who’s there?” growled Mr. Grummbel, hearing Violet’s 
footsteps. 

“Violet Valery,” said the little girl. “I live upstairs.” 

“What do you want?” he asked gruffly, momentarily 
lifting the kitten out of the water as he turned to address 
her. 

“I heard the pussy howling, sir,” said Violet, “and I thought 
something had happened to her. I did n’t know you were 
bathing her.” 

“Bathing her, am I?” growled Mr. Grummbel. “I’m 


6 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


drowning the little scamp, that ’s what I am ! And what ’s it 
to you 4 ?” With this the old villain — for he was indeed a vil- 
lain — forced the kitten under the water again. 

“Mee-’ow!” cried pussy again, this time in a weaker tone, 
for her struggles had tired her. 

“Please don’t do that, Mr. Grummbel!” exclaimed Violet. 

“Run along, little girl! This is no affair of yours!” 

“It is wrong to drown that kitten, Mr. Grummbel. Please 
don’t!” 

“It ’s wrong, eh 4 ? Well, it was wrong of her to howl on the 
fence last night.” With this, the old devil — for he was in- 
deed a devil — gave the unlucky kitten another ducking. 

“Oh, how can you be so cruel!” exclaimed Violet. 

“Cruel, eh? I suppose pussy wasn’t cruel with her howl- 
ing and keeping folks awake at night. A plague on the ras- 
cally little nuisance!” He was on the point of giving the 
little pussycat another dousing when Violet seized his arm and 
exclaimed: “Have mercy on her, Mr. Grummbel! Please 
do!” 

“Run along, missy!” 

“Oh, give her another chance, Mr. Grummbel!” 

“Another chance to keep me awake all night, I suppose? 
No, she ’s not going to get away this time. I may not be lucky 
enough to catch her again.” 

“How in the world did you ever catch her?” asked Violet. 
She wondered how an old man like Mr. Grummbel could have 
overtaken a fleet little pussycat. 

“That was easy,” cackled Mr. Grummbel. “I threw a shoe 
at her and sent her flying off the fence. Ha ! ha ! You should 
have seen that shoe hit Miss Mee-ow ! She did n’t do any mee- 
owing again for a while. She just lay there and groaned un- 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


7 

til I went out and picked her up. I brought her in and left 
her here overnight. I was too tired to drown her last night.” 
Mr. Grummbel cackled again. He was delighted with his 
capture of the poor little pussycat. “Here,” he added with 
an unpleasant grin as he pointed to a worn-out shoe, “is the 
blessed thing that brought her down.” 

“Oh, sir,” exclaimed Violet, “I never thought you would 
hit a poor litttle pussycat.” 

“Neither did I, missy,” he replied, with another disagree- 
able grin; “I usually miss. My aim is n’t what it used to be.” 
Mr. Grummbel thought this a tremendous joke. He laughed 
again. No, he cackled. He cackled like a pleased old hen. 
No, that is not mean enough. It is pleasant to hear a hen 
cackling. I know ! He cackled like an old fiend — and 
rubbed his hands gleefully. 

“Oh, please, give me the kitty!” exclaimed Violet. “I am 
afraid you have hurt her. See how limp her front paws are! 
It must be very painful.” 

“Drowning will cure that, missy,” said Mr. Grummbel con- 
tinuing to cackle like an old fiend; “she will not feel a thing 
after I duck her a few times more.” 

“Oh, please, PLEASE, don’t, Mr. Grummbel !” cried Violet, 
getting down on her knees. No, this is a mistake. Her 
mother had taught her never to do this unless there happened 
to be a carpet on the floor. This was a kitchen floor, covered 
with oilcloth, so I am sure she did n’t get down on her knees, 
for Violet was an obedient child. But I do know — for I could 
hear it plainly — that she exclaimed in a very pathetic way, 
“Please, Mr. Grummbel, do not drown the kitty!” 

Mr. Grummbel, though he disliked to admit it, was begin- 
ning to weaken. Even an old fiend that cackles gleefully 


8 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


can be moved at times. All men, even the meanest, have 
hearts. My doctor told me this. 

“I am afraid the kitty will have to pay for her sins,” he 
said. With this he turned his back on Violet and made out 
he was ducking the pussy again. In reality he had turned to 
let a large tear, two inches around, roll down his cheek and 
drop into the basin. It hit the water with a splash, and for a 
moment Violet thought that the pussy was receiving another 
soaking. She was relieved to find that this was not so. 

“Let me keep her, Mr. Grummbel,” pleaded Violet again. 
“I will teach her not to howl.” 

“You might as well try to teach a dog not to wag his tail,” 
said Mr. Grummbel, snuffling. He knew he was beaten but 
he would not give in — yet. “A cat with strong lungs, missy, 
simply will have her nightly howl.” 

“Let me keep her a day, sir, and I will teach her to be 
quiet. Oh, please, give your consent! Please do, Mr. Grumm- 
bel!” 

“Very well, child,” said Mr. Grummbel, wiping his eyes. 
They were very red and watery. He must have had a cold. 
“But remember, if she lets out a single mee-ow” — he was mak- 
ing an effort to be stern — “into the basin she goes!” 

“Oh, thank you!” exclaimed Violet as she joyously kissed 
the old fiend. “I will teach her to be as quiet as my dolly. 
Little dolly used to howl at nights, too, but I begged her to stop 
and she did; and now she’s the nicest, quietest dolly in the 
world. She never says a word — just looks at me and smiles. 
Kitty will be like that too, Mr. Grummbel.” 

“I hope so.” said the old fiend as he handed the shivering 
kitten to Violet. 

As Violet left with the kitty, another tear, this one three 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 9 

inches around, trickled down Mr. Grummbers cheek and, land- 
ing in the basin, splashed water in all directions, and ruined 
the wall-paper. But Mr. Grummbel did not care, for he had 
done a kind deed. 

Even a fiend has his moments. 


CHAPTER II 


Kingfisher birds I ’ve known for years 
And queen bees by the score ; 

T hey play around upon the ground 
Outside my cottage door. 

And I have found these royal friends 
Such good companions that 
I ’ d like to meet upon the street 
A princess pussycat ! 

HE moment that Violet reached her room a startling 
thing happened. The shivering pussycat began to 



talk! 


“How can I thank you, dear Violet,” she began, “for all 
you have done for me 4 ?” 

Violet stared at the kitten in astonishment. “I did n’t 
know that pussycats talked,” she said; “this is wonderful!” 

“Where I come from — the kingdom of Tabbyland — all 
pussycats, and even the dogs, talk.” 

“How remarkable!” cried Violet. “How did that come to 
pass 4 ?” 

“Louis Katorze, the court magician at Tabbyland Palace 
and one of the smartest cats in the world, discovered a medi- 
cine that will make any animal talk. I was the first pussy to 
benefit by Louis’s discovery.” 

“What an honor!” exclaimed Violet. “Then you know 
the court magician very well 4 ?” 

“Indeed I do!” replied the remarkable kitty. “I am the 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


11 


Princess Pauline, daughter of Thomas VI, King of Tabby- 
land. If there is anything my noble father or I can do to 
reward you for saving my life, do not hesitate to name it.” 

“This is like a dream!” exclaimed Violet clapping her 
hands. “All my life I have wanted to meet a princess and 
now my wish has come true! I am so happy to know you, 
your Majesty!” 

“Do not bother calling me ‘your Majesty.’ It is the proper 
way to address me and I am glad you know it. But I like you 
too well to have you call me ‘your Majesty.’ It sounds too 
formal. Call me Princess — or Prinny, for short.” 

“Very well, Prinny,” replied Violet joyfully. 

“You may also slap me on the back,” continued the Prin- 
cess. “I am very democratic. Besides it kills the fleas. We 
have none in the palace but your back yard is full of them and 
some of them are playing hide-and-go-seek in my fur.” 

“I am only too glad to do anything you wish,” replied Vio- 
let, slapping the Princess on the back. “And now that I have 
done that, Prinny, won’t you please tell me what in the world 
brought you here from Tabbyland? Surely there is more fun 
to be had in your father’s palace than there is here.” 

“It is a long story,” said the Princess. “As soon as my chill 
leaves me and I have had a little rest I will tell you the story, 
Violet.” 

“How thoughtless of me!” said Violet. “You shall have 
some milk too,” and she fetched some at once. When the 
milk was all lapped up, she wrapped her little visitor in a 
warm blanket and placed her on the bed. 

“Now, dear Prinny, tell me the story,” said Violet. 

“Very well, dear Violet,” said the Princess, “this is how it 
happened — ” 


CHAPTER III 


A pussy finds her earthly joy 
In howling on a fence; 

She does not do it to annoy , 

It is not impudence. 

Her aim is to he friendly ; I 
Am sure that I am right. 

Hark closely and you 'll hear her cry , 

“Mee — 'ow are you tonight 

A S you now know,” the royal pussycat began, “I am the 
Princess Pauline, daughter of Thomas VI, King of 
the Cats. I live in a beautiful palace — thirty-six 
rooms, five baths, steam heat, hot and cold running water, ele- 
vator service all night, and all other improvements. It is the 
most magnificent palace in the world. There is nothing in it 
cheaper than gold. There used to be a few silver rooms but 
my father had them removed and given to the poor. 

“My father is a very generous man. Nothing that I ask for 
does he deny me. When I tire of cow’s milk, he sees that I 
am supplied with goat’s or giraffe’s milk or any other kind 
I desire. Once when I was ill and cranky I refused to eat the 
nice, tender gray mouse that was served me in bed and insisted 
that I would not taste anything but a green mouse with laven- 
der stripes. My father, ever intent upon pleasing me, sent 

out a thousand knights to hunt for such a mouse. After they 

12 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


13 

had searched all day and failed to find one my father com- 
manded that one drop out of the sky and it was served in my 
room an hour later with a delicious sauce. 

“Every request I have ever made has been granted me. One 
day I asked for the moon. Needless to say, it was brought to 
me. After playing with it for a few weeks I ordered it put 
back. One must not be selfish. The palace grounds are well 
lighted and I can get along without a moon in the sky, but I 
must think of my father’s subjects. 

“I mention these things to give you an idea of the life of a 
pussycat princess. It is a life of splendor and ease. One can 
have anything at all. And that, dear Violet, is what caused 
all the trouble. I grew tired of the magnificence of my father’s 
court. I longed for a chance to lead the life of an ordinary 
cat. Above all, I pined for a chance to go out into the world 
and howl for a night on a back fence. Time and again word 
had come to me of the fun that ordinary cats have in this way. 
If my father would only give his consent! I often thought. 
To howl for a night on a back fence! How happy it would 
make me! For weeks I was aflame with the idea! I could 
think of nothing else. O glorious boon ! — to howl for a night 
on a back fence ! Hasten the day when this heavenly pleasure 
should be mine ! 

“One day I decided to ask my father’s consent without 
further delay. I could keep my secret no longer. I would 
wait until I found him in good humor and tell him of my plan. 
I knew he would object at first but that I should win out if I 
kissed him sufficiently. Father loves kisses. 

“Well, one day I found him rolling all over the throne-room 
floor with a ball of catnip. I was shocked at first, for his 
Majesty is usually very dignified. But when I saw him play- 



The Princess Seeks the King’s Permission to Leave the Palace 



THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


15 

fully smiling up at me, I knew the time had come to ask his 
consent in the matter so close to my heart. 

“ ‘Father,’ I began, ‘may I have a few words with you?’ 

“ ‘Yes, my darling Pauline,’ he replied, ‘but please be quick 
about it, child. This is an excellent catnip ball and I ’d like 
to roll around some more. It is the only way I can keep fit to 
rule the kingdom.’ 

“ ‘Dear King and Father,’ I began, ‘I — I — I wish to leave 
home!’ 

“ ‘What!’ cried his Majesty scowling (a thing he seldom 
does). ‘After all I have done for you! This is too much — 
too much!’ And he began to pace the pure gold floor and 
wring his paws. 

“ ‘Only for a night, Father dear!’ I cried. ‘You have been 
good to me. I have not forgotten. Did n’t you give me the 
moon when I asked for it? And a green mouse with lavender 
stripes to eat when I was ill? Only for a night do I wish to 
leave, dear King and Father — only for a night!’ 

“And then I kissed him 118 times — no, I think it was 121. 
I kissed him on the left cheek, on the right cheek, on the fore- 
head, on the lips, on the whiskers, on the nose. I kissed him so 
hard I knocked his crown off. 

“When I had done kissing him I made a final appeal: ‘O 
Father, if you do not give your consent I shall be the un- 
happiest kitten in Tabbyland!’ 

“ ‘Give me a chance to get my breath,’ he replied, picking up 
his crown and adjusting it; ‘you have pretty nearly knocked 
the wind out of your poor old father.’ 

“ ‘Boy, hand me the throne,’ he said, addressing a page who 
stood near-by. ‘I am tired and wish to sit down.’ The boy 
handed him the throne and he continued as he seated himself : 


i6 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


"Pauline, you have n’t told me yet why you desire to leave the 
palace for a night. What is the reason ?’ 

“ "Dear King and Father,’ I replied, ‘I wish to howl for a 
night on a back fence! Oh, let me join the humble cats and 
sing with them for an evening. All my life I have been denied 
this pleasure. Please, PLEASE let me go!’ 

“ ‘You are mad, child!’ said the King. ‘How can a little 
kitten like you go out into the world alone?’ 

“ ‘I will take my governess, Doggie Dorothy,’ I replied; 
‘she will protect me, Father. She is a good strong dog and 
will thrash any one that tries to harm me. Please say that I 
may go!’ 

“ ‘You may go on this condition, that you will never again 
make a like request. The Princess Pauline, daughter of 
Thomas VI, King of Tabbyland, does not belong on a back 
fence. I hope you understand that, child.’ 

“ ‘I do, dear King and Father, I do! Let me go this time 
and I ’ll never ask again.’ 

“ ‘You may go!’ he said in his best regal manner. ‘But 
mind — only for a night!’ 

“I kissed him again, but this time I was careful not to knock 
his crown off. A crown that has too many dents in it is not 
becoming.” 


H 


CHAPTER IV 

A pussy on a fence at night 
Howls. 

A man who thinks it is n't right 
Scowls. 


The pussy is destroying his 
Sleep , 

Which makes him ( this no fable is) 
Weep. 


For he is resting from his hard 
Labor , 

While she mee-ows , this noisy yard 
Neighbor. 


“ Get off that fence!" he 's shouting to 
Her. 

Says she , “ The same I will not do. 
Sir!" 


Comes flying through the air a great 
Boot. 

See pussy — but, alas, too late — 

Scoot! 

OW glad I was to have my father’s consent!” con- 
tinued the Princess. “It was the happiest moment 
of my life.” 


1 7 


18 THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 

“Didn’t you have to have your mother’s consent too 4 ?” 
Violet asked. 

“My mother was away at the time. She was off on a royal 
visit to Kittonia, one of the provinces of Tabby land.” 

“Oh, I see,” said Violet. 

“I at once made preparations to leave the palace,” the Prin- 
cess went on. “I summoned my governess, Doggie Dorothy, 
and told her of my plan. 

“ ‘How happy I shall be, your Majesty, to help you carry 
out your plan !’ exclaimed Doggie Dorothy. ‘I will help you 
pick out a nice comfortable fence, with no barbed wire on it, 
and you shall howl to your heart’s content.’ 

“ ‘You will stand near-by and see that no harm comes to 
me,’ I said. 

“ ‘Indeed I will, your Majesty!’ replied Doggie Dorothy. 

“I then ordered the royal motor-coach to be at the door in 
a few minutes. 

“Well, before I knew it, Doggie Dorothy and I were riding 
out of Tabbyland. When it became known that the Princess 
Pauline was passing in the royal motor thousands of pussycats 
gathered at the roadside to cheer me. It brought tears to my 
eyes to see my father’s subjects wave the Tabbyland national 
flag — a milk-white affair, with mouse-colored stripes — 
wherever we passed. They cheered until their throats were 
hoarse. 

“I acknowledged each cheer with a bow. They thought this 
was good of me. ‘See how cheerfully she bows!’ I heard one 
old cat remark. ‘I remember princesses that would not bow 
if you cheered until you burst your lungs. There was the 
Princess Felina, for instance, daughter of Percy IX, who ruled 
back in the eighties. She would n’t look at us plain cats, much 



The Princess Leaving the Palace with Her Governess, Doggie Dorothy 




20 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


less bow to us. No wonder nobody mourned when she choked 
to death on a fish head back in ’84. May Pauline the Great- 
hearted have a kinder fate! Three more cheers for the Prin- 
cess Pauline!’ And the mob let loose a cheer that shook the 
top off a near-by mountain and sent it crashing into the sea. 

“After riding steadily for two hours, we reached the royal 
air-ship grounds. There we boarded the Thomas VI , my 
father’s private balloon, and waited a few minutes while the 
royal windjammer, a stout old cat with powerful lungs, blew 
it full of air. After this was done the pilot got aboard and in 
less than an hour we had traveled 10,000 miles and were out of 
Tabbyland and in this part of the world. 

“I dismissed the air-ship pilot and told him to call for me the 
following morning — to-day , in other words. I told him he 
would find me on the most comfortable back fence in the land. 

“ ‘Very well, your Majesty,’ he said, and departed. 

“Doggie Dorothy and I then began our search for the most 
comfortable back fence. After searching for three hours we 
discovered your yard and were delighted to find that your fence 
was just the kind I wanted — smooth boards with not a single 
splinter in them, no barbed wire, and a roomy perch. 

“ ‘Oh, this is wonderful!’ I cried, joyfully clapping my paws. 
‘What a splendid time I shall have on this fence!’ 

“Without a second’s delay I scrambled up, and perching 
myself on one of the most comfortable boards, let loose a trial 
‘mee-ow!’ — not a very loud one, just loud enough to see how it 
felt. Oh, it was wonderful! I don’t know how to describe 
it, Violet, so that you will understand. 

“I was about to mee-ow again when I was interrupted by 
Doggie Dorothy, who cried, in a horrified tone : ‘It is too early, 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


21 


Princess! Cats do not howl on back fences in broad daylight. 
It is not being done this year.’ 

“ ‘Oh, how can I wait until evening comes!’ I cried. ‘I 
simply can’t bear any more delay. My soul is crying out for 
a chance to howl itself hoarse.’ 

“ ‘Whoever heard of a cat howling with her soul, your 
Majesty”?’ said Dorothy, who was becoming crankier every 
minute. ‘Your language is frightful to-day, a sign that you 
are excited. Come with me for a stroll and in the evening 
when you are calm we shall return and you shall howl to your 
lungs’ content.’ 

“I consented, although I must confess that I was not alto- 
gether pleased with Dorothy. In the first place, she should 
not have corrected my language. It is not proper for a gover- 
ness to correct a member of the royal family. 

“I once heard my noble father say so to Dorothy when she was 
silly enough to object to his use of ‘ain’t’ in a speech that he de- 
livered from the palace balcony. The King of course knew 
that ‘ain’t’ is wrong. He simply used it, as any sensible king 
would, to make his subjects feel at home. The cat that ruled 
before my father was disliked because his grammar was perfect 
and no one could understand him. The people thought that a 
cat that used such fine language must be stuck up, and I don’t 
blame them. 

“But I am rambling. What did I say last*? Oh, yes! 
Doggie Dorothy and I went for a stroll. We had three hours 
to spend before it would be dark enough for me to howl on 
that delightful back fence of yours, Violet. We went to a 
restaurant where I had some catsup and Dorothy some dog- 
biscuit; and then we visited a motion-picture theater. There 




Pussies at the Roadside Cheering the Passing Princess 








THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 23 

I was thrilled beyond measure to find that among the news 
pictures was a scene from Tabbyland. It read: 

KING OF CATS INSPECTING 
FREE MILK STATION 
IN TABBYLAND 

Thomas VI Wins Place 
in Hearts of Pus- 
sies by Helping 
Poor 


Milk of Feline Kind- 
ness Flows and 
Many Cats are 
Happy 


“How proud I was of my father! And how glad to know 
that the world was aware of his many virtues. 

“When the motion-picture was over it was dark outside and 
I was happy, for the moment was near at hand when at last I 
should have my chance to scramble up a fence and howl for a 
whole wonderful night. 

“In no time Doggie Dorothy and I returned to your back 
yard. Five or six shabby-looking stray cats were already 
there. A few of them were beginning to tune up. I was glad 
of their company. It is best to sing in chorus until one’s 
nervousness wears off. 

“The cats gave me a royal reception even though they did 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


24 

not know that I was a princess. They were dirty but kind. 
One of them, alas! looked as though she had not bathed for 
months but she had so gentle a look that I did not mind. 
Another — dear me ! — had forty-one fleas on one ear alone, but 
she was so courteous, in her crude way, that I paid no attention 
to this failing. 

“ ‘Lookit the new arrival, fellers!’ exclaimed a dumpy gray 
pussy in a noisy but kindly way. ‘Let ’s make her feel at 
home/ 

“ ‘Welcome to our kitty!’ cried another with a laugh. 
Others took up the cry and I was happy. 

“ ‘I am delighted to be with you, kind friends,’ I replied. 

“ ‘Cattaboy!’ cried a jolly little cinnamon-colored tabby. 
This made all the other pussies chuckle and I was puzzled. 
I had never heard the expression before. Could they be mak- 
ing fun of me*? 

“ ‘Don’t let anything worry you, old girl!’ cried a frowsy 
gray cat, noticing my worried look. 

“ ‘Your speech puzzles me,’ I replied; ‘I am a pussy, not a 
girl, and I am not old. But I do not mind these mistakes. 
You are all very good and that is all that matters. When 
does the howling begin*?’ 

“ ‘As soon as Belinda, Rufus, and Jennie arrive,’ replied 
the jolly cinnamon tabby that had greeted me before. ‘They 
are late to-night. Belinda works at Mrs. Coogan’s on Pell 
Street. There are many mice there and she may be working 
overtime. But I do not understand why Jennie and Rufus 
are late. Jennie has an easy positon with Mrs. Simpson; all 
she does is play with the children for a few hours a day. I 
wonder where Rufus can be. He is not working and should 
have been here long ago. It would never do to start without 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


25 

Rufus. He is the only pussycat in the neighborhood with a 
bass voice and our choir is not complete without him.’ 

“ ‘Very well, then,’ I replied, ‘let us wait/ 

“ ‘It is the wisest thing to do,’ observed a quiet little black 
cat with large green eyes. ‘The other night an angry lady in 
the next yard, in leaning out of her window to scold us foi* 
mee-owing, accidentally pushed a whole roast chicken off the 
ledge. It provided a most excellent feast. This would never 
have happened if not for Rufus. His deep bass voice was in 
excellent trim and he made as much noise as all the sopranos 
put together. By all means let us wait until Rufus comes.’ 

“ ‘Here he comes now!’ cried another cat, clapping her paws. 
‘Belinda and Jenny are coming too! Hooray!’ 

“Sure enough, three cats were approaching. Rufus proved 
to be a large chocolate-colored fellow with purplish eyes, bushy 
eyebrows, and one of the loveliest mustaches I have ever seen. 
He looked almost as handsome as my father the king. Be- 
linda was a fat gray cat that waddled like a duck. She looked 
as though she had made a practice of eating too many mice. 
Jennie was a skinny little thing whose ribs stuck out like hoops 
on a barrel. 

“In a second Rufus, Jennie, and Belinda were perched on 
the fence with the other cats. ‘Let ’s go!’ shouted Rufus and 
in a twinkling we were all howling away. When the first 
number was over, a most surprising thing happened. Every 
cat on the fence came over to pat me on the back and shake my 
paw. 

“ ‘Nobly done!’ cried one. 

“ ‘What a wonderful pair of lungs!’ exclaimed another. 

“‘You have out-howled us all — even Rufus!’ shouted a 
third, adding as she turned to the other cats, ‘Let ’s give three 



The Princess Mee-owing on Violet’s Back-Fence 



THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 27 

mee-ows for our new friend!’ And they did. I joined them, 
forgetting that it is not customary to cheer for oneself. The 
result was perhaps the loudest mee-owing ever done by pussy- 
cats in the history of the race. What a stir it caused ! I don’t 
know how you ever slept through it, Violet. Every window 
in the neighborhood went up with a bang. A thousand heads 
peered out into the darkness. There was a buzz of excited 
voices. Every one seemed to be saying, ‘Did you ever hear 
anything like it?’ How proud I was of myself! For I was 
largely responsible for the racket. To think that my little 
lungs had caused all that stir ! I swelled up with pride. This 
was my undoing — and let it be a lesson to all who hear my 
story. If my success had not gone to my head and I had not 
swelled to thrice my normal size the shoe that was flung at 
me — for this is what happened — might not have hit me. 

“In my swollen state I was an excellent target and was 
struck a severe blow that sent me flying off the fence. All the 
cats ran off in terror. Instead of coming to my rescue, Doggie 
Dorothy proved a coward and fled with them. There I lay on 
the cold ground unable to move. The blow had stunned me. 
After I had lain there all a-tremble for about ten minutes my 
terror was increased by the appearance of a man in pajamas, 
who proved to be Mr. Grummbel. ‘Ah ! there you are, my pretty 
one !’ he snarled as he roughly picked me up and carried me into 
the house. ‘I ’ll teach you to keep me awake all night!’ 

“Mr. Grummbel has told you the rest, Violet.” 


CHAPTER V 


Gaze skyward and I ’ m sure you ’ll see 
A great amount of space. 

Wherever you may chance to he 
This is the case. 

There ’s nothing in the space hut air , 

And here and there a bird , 

A circumstance that I declare 
Is most absurd. 

We crowd the earth and let the sky 
Stay empty as can he. 

I often sit and wonder why 
Such things should be. 

To folks the birds do not object , 

Tor there is room for all. 

They rather welcome , I suspect , 

A friendly call. 

I AM so sorry that you have had such trouble, Prinny,” 
said Violet. “The idea of a princess having a shoe 
thrown at her!” 

“It is a bit unusual,” replied the royal kitty. “But I am 
beginning to feel well again and do not mind. After all, it 
has been an interesting experience and I shall have something 
to put in my diary when I return home.” 

“And / shall have something to tell Mr. Grummbel one of 
these days. The idea of striking a princess!” 

“He did n’t know, dear. It was dark, remember. And even 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


29 

in daylight (this rather annoys me at times) it is hard to tell 
a royal cat from the ordinary kind. I think royal pussies 
should be made so that they can be told at a glance from street 
cats. I will speak to Louis Katorze, the court magician, about 
this when I return.” 

“That is a good idea, Prinny. But even if Mr. Grummbel 
did not know you were a princess he should have treated you 
more kindly.” 

“Let us forget the old rascal. After all, as my royal father 
says, all ’s well that ends well.” 

“My mother often says that too. Oh, Prinny, I should so 
love to have you meet my mother. I will call her in.” 

“That will be lovely, Violet.” 

Violet left the room and soon returned with Mrs. Valery. 

“Mother dear!” exclaimed Violet. “This dear little pussy 
is a princess! And she talks! Just think!” 

“Really 4 ?” said Mrs. Valery greatly surprised. 

“Yes, Mother, a real Princess! Is n’t it wonderful 4 ?” 

“It is indeed, child,” replied Mrs. Valery smiling. 

“Tell mother your full title, Princess,” said Violet. 

“I am the Princess Pauline,” said the pussycat, “daughter 
of Thomas VI, King of Tabbyland, Pussy ville, Purru, and 
Catlanta.” 

“Well, this is indeed a pleasure!” said Mrs. Valery. “I 
am very glad to know you, your Highness.” 

“Your daughter saved my life. Is there anything I can do 
to show my gratitude 4 ?” 

“Could you — but no, that would be hard to arrange.” 

“What is it you wish, Mrs. Valery 4 ?” 

“I ’d like new paper on these walls. I can’t do a thing with 
the landlord. Could you make him do it 4 ?” 


30 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“My royal father shall command it.” 

“Oh, that will be lovely!” exclaimed Mrs. Valery happily. 
“The rooms are so shabby — hardly the place to receive a Prin- 
cess.” 

“Do not mind that, Mrs. Valery,” said the Princess. “I 
overlook a great deal. It is the right way.” 

“Oh, Prinny,” began Violet, when her mother interrupted 
her. 

“It is not proper to call her ‘Prinny,’ child,” said Mrs. 
Valery. “Call her ‘your Highness.’ ” 

“Oh, that is nothing,” said the Princess pleasantly. “I 
have given her permission to call me ‘Prinny.’ You may also 
call me ‘Prinny,’ if you wish. I permit my friends to do so, 
and you are now my friend.” 

“Oh, thank you,” exclaimed Mrs. Valery. “You are so 
kind, Prinny.” 

“It is one of the duties of a princess to be kind,” said the 
royal kitty modestly. 

“Oh, Prinny,” said Violet again, “can’t you stay with us 
for the week-end?” 

“Dear, no!” exclaimed the Princess. “The Baron of Milk- 
bowl is giving a ball at the'palace the day after to-morrow and 
I must attend. But if your mother will consent, you may come 
to Tabbyland with me for a few days.” 

“Oh, that would be wonderful, Prinny!” cried Violet 
happily. “Mother dear, may I go?” 

“You may, my darling,” said Mrs. Valery, “if Prinny will 
see that you are brought back in safety.” 

“You may depend upon that, Mrs. Valery,” said the Prin- 
cess, “I will see that she makes the return trip in my father’s 
private balloon. Goodness ! there is the balloon now ! I told 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


3i 

the pilot to look for me near the most comfortable back fence 
in the land, and of course he has stopped at your yard. There 
is no back fence like it in the world; I just knew he would find 
it!” 

With this the Princess ran to the window to signal the pilot 
of the handsome royal air-ship. “I will be down directly, 
Rudolph!” she cried. “Yes, your Highness,” replied the 
pilot, gracefully bowing. This is a difficult thing to do in a 
balloon but he managed it nicely. Little things like this show 
that one can do anything if one only tries. (This is a moral, 
Children.) 

“Then I may go to Tabbyland, Mother*?” asked Violet. 

“Yes, since Prinny promises to have you safely returned,” 
said Mrs. Valery. 

“Oh, how kind you are, mother!” exclaimed Violet kissing 
her. 

“May we leave at once, Mrs. Valery*?” asked the Princess. 
“Or shall we have to wait until Mr. Valery returns from 
work *?” 

“You may go now, if you wish,” said Violet’s mother. “It 
is safer to travel in daylight. I will explain to Mr. Valery.” 

“That is splendid!” cried the Princess. Then, “Let us be 
going, Violet.” 

Violet put her hat and coat on and kissed her mother. 

“Come in and pay us a visit once in a while, Prinny,” said 
Mrs. Valery as they were leaving. “And whenever the King 
is in the neighborhood we should like to have him drop in too.” 

“Thank you!” exclaimed the Princess departing. 

“Good-by, Mother dear!” cried Violet throwing Mrs. Valery 
a kiss. “I will write you and father a long letter as soon as I 
arrive in Tabbyland.” 


CHAPTER VI 


A 

A crown ’s a lovely thing. 

Upon a lovely head. 

For tea or motoring 
A crown's a lovely thing. 

The royal ladies sing 

The praises of the said. 

A crown ’s a lovely thing 
Upon a lovely head! 

B 

She wore her crowning glory 
And everybody clapped. 

Upon her upper story 
She wore her crowning glory , 

And people , young and hoary , 

Gazed at the maiden , rapt. 

She wore her crowning glory 
And everybody clapped! 

W HAT a wonderful balloon!” exclaimed Violet gaz- 
ing at the royal air-ships! “I have never seen 
anything like it.” 

“It is a rather handsome affair,” replied the Princess. 

“What is that design away up there, Prinny 4 ?” asked Violet 
pointing to a decoration near the top of the balloon. 

“That is the royal coat of arms — a silver bowl of sweet 

cream guarded on either side by a pussycat hussar, or soldier. 

32 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


33 

This design also appears on the royal battle-ships, coaches, 
trains, and so forth. It is the King’s trade-mark.” 

“Oh, I see,” said Violet. 

“Well, let us enter,” said the Princess. “Rudolph, get the 
step-ladder!” 

Producing the royal step-ladder (also bearing the coat of 
arms), Rudolph placed it alongside the balloon. “You may 
now enter, your Highness,” he said touching his cap. 

The Princess and Violet ascended the ladder. Soon they 
were in the reception-room of the balloon. A maid took their 
hats and coats and brought them some tea. 

“Oh, Prinny!” exclaimed Violet drinking her tea, “how 
splendid it is to have a balloon like this! I shall ask father 
to buy me one for my birthday.” 

“I am afraid they cost too much, Violet,” said the Princess. 
“Whenever you wish a balloon ride, let me know and Rudolph 
will call for you. Of course, if your father could pick one up 
second-hand, it would not cost so much. A new one costs 
4,367,000 pussetas, if I remember rightly.” 

“What is a pusseta, Prinny?” asked Violet. 

“A pusseta,” said the Princess, “is a Tabbyland coin worth 
about a dollar.” 

“How interesting,” said Violet, adding, “When will the 
balloon start, Prinny?” 

“At once. Rudolph is getting up steam now and we ’ll be 
ready to leave in a few seconds.” 

“Oh, that is fine!” cried Violet clapping her hands. (No, 
that is wrong. As she had a cup of tea in her right hand, 
clapping was out of the question. At any rate she was very 
happy, and that is the same thing.) 

“BLOONK! BLOONK!” 


34 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“BLOONK! BLOONK!” 

“What is that, Prinny*?” asked Violet anxiously. 

“That,” said the Princess, “is the bloonker bloonking.” 

“And what is a bloonker, Prinny *?” 

“A bloonker, Violet, is a kind of horn. Rudolph is bloonk- 
ing to warn folks that we are about to start.” 

“BLOONK! BLOONK!” 

“BLOONK! BLOONK!” 

“See!” cried the Princess, “we are leaving!” 

“Look!” exclaimed Violet, “mother is waving to us from 
the kitchen window. Let us wave back!” And they did, 
until Mrs. Valery’s house faded from sight and they were 
traveling over the city. (I think it was a city.) 

“Oh, this is wonderful!” cried Violet. “It is even better 
than a swing.” 

“On the whole, yes,” said the Princess. “It travels through 
the air more rapidly and is more comfortable than a swing.” 

“It is indeed, Prinny. Oh, how kind you are to take me 
along! How I love to feel the wind blowing through my 
hair!” 

“So do I, Violet, although it messes up my fur. I think I 
shall put on my crown.” 

“Oh, Prinny, have you really got your crown with you*?” 

“Yes, Violet. Not my dress crown, of course. I have my 
traveling crown with me. It is a plain one, made of dull gold. 
The dust would soil my shiny one, so I do not take it with me 
when I travel.” 

“Do send for your crown, Prinny, and put it on!” 

The Princess rang a bell and the maid entered. 

“My traveling crown,” commanded the Princess. The 
maid left and soon appeared with it. 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


35 

“How beautiful!” exclaimed Violet as the Princess put it 
on. It was a lovely dull gold crown studded with diamonds, 
cats’-eyes, rubies, and emeralds — not so many as one sees on 
dress crowns but plenty to go around. 

“Do you really think it is becoming?” asked the Princess. 

“Indeed I do!” said Violet. 

“I am so happy to hear you say that,” said the Princess. “It 
is the very latest, my milliner tells me.” 

“Then there are fashions in crowns, Prinny?” 

“Indeed there are, Violet. I give all my old crowns to the 
cook. At the end of the season she will have this one too. 
The worst thing a Princess can do is to be seen wearing last 
year’s crown. It is what my noble father calls ‘the crowning 
insult.’ He roars whenever he says this. Some of my father’s 
sayings puzzle me.” 

“How interesting all this is!” exclaimed Violet. “Soon I 
shall know enough about these things to take up princessing 
myself.” 

“Indeed you will, Violet,” said the Princess pleasantly. 

“What is that, Violet?” exclaimed the Princess suddenly. 
She was pointing to a crowd gathered near a huge tent in a 
field below. 

“That is a circus, Prinny. It is a place where people go to 
look at elephants and lions and to eat peanuts and popcorn.” 

“It must be a glorious place or so many people would n’t be 
there. Is n’t that so, Violet?” 

“It is indeed, Prinny. There is a man who swallows swords, 
a lady as fat as this balloon, a giant whose arms are so long he 
can reach the top of a mountain and scrape off a snowball, 
and — ” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


36 

“Stop, Violet! That is enough. I cannot return to Tabby- 
land without seeing these things.” 

With these words she rang for the maid, who came at once. 

“Tell Rudolph to stop the balloon,” she commanded. “We 
are going to see the circus.” 

“BLOONK! BLOONK!” screamed the bloonker, warning 
the people below that the air-ship was about to make a landing. 

The people clapped their hands, thinking that was part of 
the show. 

“Hear them clapping, Prinny!” cried Violet. “They must 
recognize you.” The Princess, overcome by this reception, 
tipped her crown politely. She had seen her father do this 
when his subjects applauded his speeches. 

The hand-clapping grew and grew as the balloon drew 
nearer the ground and as they landed there was a perfect storm 
of applause. 

A red-faced man dressed in a fancy braided uniform ran 
over to meet them. “Thanks, little girl!” he said to Violet. 
“This is better than anything in the show.” 

“May we leave the balloon here while we see the show 4 ?” 
Violet asked him. 

“Sure!” said the circus man. “If you will let your pilot 
take people up for rides while you are here you may see the 
performance free and have all the frankfurters, lemonade, pop- 
corn, and candy you wish, for nothing.” 

The Princess was overjoyed to hear this. She was tempted 
to join the conversation but did not wish to attract attention. 
“Say yes,” she whispered in Violet’s ear. 

“All right, mister,” said Violet to the circus man, “but do 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


37 

not hurt the balloon. It cost 4,367,000 pussetas and belongs 
to a King.” 

“I will take good care of it,” said the circus man. “Where 
is your pilot*?” 

Violet called Rudolph, who was purring peacefully in the 
driver’s basket. “Here is the pilot,” she said as Rudolph 
leaped from the basket to the ground. 

“What!” exclaimed the circus man, “does this little pussycat 
run the balloon*?” 

“Yes, sir,” said Violet. 

“Great stuff!” cried the circus man. “This beats the other 
acts a mile!” 

“Rudolph,” said Violet, “you will take up passengers in the 
balloon while the Princess and I see the circus.” 

The circus man then gave Violet a free pass and she and 
the Princess left to see the show. 

As they were entering the tent they could hear the circus 
man crying, “LA-DEES AN’ GEN-NIL-MIN ! Right this 
way for a ride with Rudolph, the on’y cat that mans a balloon. 
Step up and let the pee-pul see you, Rudolph ! Look him over ! 
The on’y gen-oo-ine cat that runs a air-ship! Direc’ from 
Koo-nee I ’lin’ where he run all see-zin! Who’s gonna ride 
with Rudolph? On’y twenny-fi’ cents! Step right up! 
Twenny-fi’ cents to ride with Rudolph ! No crowdin’! Give 
’em all a chance! Twenny-fi’ cents for a thou-zin-dolluh 
thrill! All aboard! Anothuh trip in fifteen minutes!” 

• ••••00 

“BLOONK! BLOONK!” 


CHAPTER VII 


The circus is a place where one 
May see a lot of things , 

And each of 'em is heaps of fun: 

The acrobats on swings , 

The clowns that romp in baggy pants , 

The man who swallows swords , 

The tigers and the el-e-phants , 

The leopards — there are hordes 
Of freaks and beasts that tickle me, 

Tut I am underbred 
And best of all I like to see 
The monkey scratch his head ! 

Some go to circuses to drink 
The pretty lemonade 
That bubbles red and green and pink 
And many another shade. 

Some go to see the bearded dame 
Whose whiskers touch her knees , 

Some to observe the charmer tame 
The ten-foot rattler. These 
Are very interesting things. 

Tut, as before I said, 

I go to see ( what joy it brings !) 

The monkey scratch his head! 

W HAT a big tent!” exclaimed the Princess as they 
entered the enclosure. 

“It is the largest in the world, Prinny. It has 

to be, for this is ‘the greatest show on earth.’ ” 

38 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


39 


“How do you know that, Violet?” 

“It says so on the posters, Prinny. There is one over there. 
THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH/ it reads.” 

“Yes, I see, Violet. They wouldn’t say that if it wasn’t 
so.” 

“Indeed not, Prinny.” 

“What shall we see first, Violet?” 

“The sword-swallower, if you think you would like that,” 
said Violet. 

“Oh, that would be charming!” said the Princess. “Let us 
go at once.” 

“He must be over there,” said Violet pointing to a large 
purple and yellow sign that read, “SEE ABSORBO SWAL- 
LOW SWORDS.” 

As they approached they heard a man on a platform shout- 
ing through a megaphone : “The man with the i-ern stum-mick 
— Absorbo! Swallers anything at all! Carvin’-knives, hat- 
pins, ra-zuhs, scis-suhs, pitch-fawks, fish-hooks, bahbed wi-uh, 
boat anchuhs — anything! Let him swaller your penknife, 
gents, and see him projuce it outa his hat. Absorbo — the man 
who en-tuh- tains the crowned heads o’ Yur-rup, Af-a-rika, an’ 
othuh noted nations! Who’ll be the first to let Absorbo 
swaller his penknife?” 

A boy stepped from the crowd and handed his penknife to 
the man with the megaphone. He in turn gave it to Absorbo, a 
skinny little fellow who didn’t look as if he could swallow a 
tack, much less a penknife. But he took the knife calmly, 
opened the blades, and swallowed it as though it were a tasty 
caramel or a piece of fudge. 

“Now wah-chim projuce it frum his hat!” cried the man on 
the platform. And Absorbo did that very thing. 


40 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“Wonderful!” cried Violet. 

“Indeed it is!” exclaimed the Princess. 

“ ’Tain’t so wonderful neither,” said the little boy as Ab- 
sorbo returned his knife. “I onct seen a trout swaller a pin” 
— here he stopped to lick his lollypop — “fish.” 

I think the little boy was joking, don’t you, children 4 ? 

“Let us now have some lemonade and candy, Prinny,” said 
Violet as they walked away from the sword-swallower’s booth, 
“and then we ’ll see the animals.” 

“That is a good plan, Violet,” said the Princess. 

They were soon drinking lemonade and eating candy and 
ice-cream. 

“I am having a fine time, Prinny,” said Violet. “I hope you 
are too.” 

“Indeed I am!” said the Princess, licking an ice-cream cone. 
“When we return to Tabbyland I shall ask father to start a 
circus there. The cats would enjoy it, I ’m sure, and what a 
relief father would find it after a hard day’s kinging.” 

“That is so, Prinny,” said Violet, munching on a ball of pop- 
corn; “a king should not work all the time.” 

Soon they were on their way to the zoo. Their first stop 
was at the monkey cage. “Is n’t he like a man!” cried Prinny 
pointing to a large ape. 

“Yes, there is a resemblance,” said Violet. 

“But men cannot climb so well, can they, Violet 4 ?” asked the 
Princess. “If they could climb that way they would be just 
like monkeys. But they are as smart as monkeys in other 
ways, are n’t they, Violet?” 

“Yes, indeed,” said Violet. 

“Are n’t elephants large!” cried the Princess, gazing at one. 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


4i 

‘‘Yes, they are very large,” said Violet. “They are larger 
than lions, tigers, foxes, cows, grizzly bears, reindeers, snakes, 
and ostriches.” 

“I had never thought of that,” said the Princess. “They are 
larger than horses and alligators too. And larger than por- 
cupines, peacocks, and panthers. I do believe, Violet, they 
are the largest animals in the world! Just think! We are 
looking at the largest animals in the whole world!” 

“That is so, Prinny. How wonderful it is to be here!” 

“How father would love to see an elephant! Oh, Violet, 
do you think the circus man would give me an elephant for the 
balloon?” 

“I am sure he would, Prinny, but how would you bring the 
elephant home without the balloon?” 

“Could n’t we ride home on him, Violet?” 

“I am afraid not, Prinny. It is too far, I fear. But let us 
ask the circus man later. He will tell us.” 

“Yes, let us ask him, Violet.” 

As they were taking a last look at the elephants, the Prin- 
cess seized Violet’s arm and whispered in her ear, “Follow me !” 

“What is wrong, Prinny?” asked Violet. 

“Follow me!” whispered the Princess again. 

After they had walked for about a minute the Princess 
pointed to the figure of a dog carrying a pail of water. 

“Do you see that dog, Violet?” 

Violet nodded. 

“Well, that is my governess, Doggie Dorothy. What on 
earth can she be doing here?” 

“Well, of all things!” exclaimed Violet. 

“Dorothy!” the Princess called, “come over at once!” Dog- 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


42 

gie Dorothy was so startled by the Princess’s voice that she 
dropped the bucket of water. Looking around, she saw the 
Princess and Violet and was about to run away when the Prin- 
cess called again, “Come over at once, Dorothy!” 

Dorothy, her tail between her legs, slunk over to where they 
were. 

“What do you mean by this, Dorothy*?” the Princess asked 
sternly. “What are you doing here 4 ?” 

“I — I — you see — well — the other night when you were chased 
off the fence.” stammered the worried dog, “I — I — oh, you 
would n’t understand!” 

“I understand very well!” exclaimed the Princess, plainly 
vexed. “You lost courage and ran away — you, who came 
along to protect me! You ought to be ashamed of yourself.” 

“Perhaps I should,” replied Dorothy insolently, “but I am 
not, little kitty.” 

“How dare you call me ‘little kitty’ !” cried the Princess. 
“You will call me ‘your Highness,’ if your please! The King 
will make you suffer for this when you return to Tabbyland!” 

“But I ’m not going back to Tabbyland, kitty. I ’ve got a 
good job here carrying water to the elephants. I like it better 
than working in a palace and I am going to stay.” 

“You are coming back with me!” commanded the Princess 
stamping her paw. 

“I am not, kitty!” replied Dorothy. “I am tired of working 
for royalty.” 

“How dare you talk that way, Dorothy, after the way I have 
treated you*?” cried the Princess. “Did I ever refuse you a 
dog-biscuit*? Or the best soup bone in the palace 4 ? For 
shame!” 

“Well, you did treat me all right, kitty,” said Dorothy, using 



The Princess Meets the Naughty Doggie Dorothy at the Circus 







44 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


anything but the polite language for which she was noted at 
court, “but I will not return. Kings are n’t in style any more 
and if your father loses his job I lose mine. Nothing doing. 
So long.” With this, the impertinent Dorothy turned to go. 

“I command you to stop!” cried the vexed Princess. “If 
you do not I will have the circus man catch you. He will do 
anything I ask.” 

“He won’t get a chance to catch me!” replied Doggie Dor- 
othy. “I am going to run away from this circus at once and 
join another! Good-by, kitty!” And before the Princess 
could say another word the naughty dog was gone. 


CHAPTER VIII 


And now we're off for Tabbyland 
Where Thomas in a palace grand 
And with a scepter in his hand 
( Of course I mean his paw ) 

Sits on a brightly polished throne 
That you or I 'd be glad to own , 

A -signing bills ( for he ’s no drone) 

And laying down the law; 

Where Mrs. Thomas — I should say 
The Queen (how rude I am to-day !) — 

Helps Thomas in a social way 
To rule the tabby state; 

Where lovely pussy-willows grow 
And bright the catnip blossoms blow , 

Where tabby farmers rake and hoe 
Until the hour is late; 

Where cats of every size and make , 

Of every name from Jane to Jake, 

Eat, study, slumber, cook, and bake 
And seek their belles and beaus; 

Where tabbies — but I think it's time 
To close my poem, for if I 'm 
A-going to tell it all in rhyme 
You will not read my prose ! 

I SN’T this provoking!” exclaimed the Princess as Doggie 
Dorothy disappeared. 

"It is indeed, Prinny,” said Violet. "How sorry I 


45 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


46 

“Let us return to the circus man and get the balloon back, 
Violet. I wish to return to Tabbyland at once!” 

“Don’t you want to see the rest of the show, Prinny*?” 

“I ’d love to, Violet, but father must know of Doggie Dor- 
othy’s impudence without delay.” 

“That is so,” said Violet. “Let us return at once.” 

With that, Violet and the Princess left the tent and went 
back to the open field where the circus man was selling rides 
in the royal Tabbyland balloon. 

“A trip to the clouds with Rudolph, the on’y cat that mans 
a air-ship!” the circus man was crying. “Las’ day with this 
soi-kus! Now ’s your chance, la-dees and gen-nil-min! Who 
will have the next ride*?” 

“I will, sir,” said Violet approaching. “I am sorry to take 
the balloon away so soon but I must leave at once.” (The 
Princess had asked her to do the talking.) 

“I am sorry to hear that, little girl,” said the circus man. 

“I am sorry too,” said Violet. “I would like to see the rest 
of the show and eat some more popcorn, but I must return.” 

“Anything you say, little girl!” said the circus man smiling. 
“I hope you had a good time.” 

“I had a wonderful time, sir,” said Violet. With this she 
and the Princess moved toward the balloon and were assisted 
up by the polite Rudolph. 

“To Tabbyland at once!” the Princess commanded. Ru- 
dolph touched his hat and took his place at the pilot’s wheel. 
In a second the balloon was in motion and Violet was waving 
a last good-by to the circus man, who could be heard shouting 
to the crowd: “The management asks me to announce that 
there will be no more balloon rides to-day, la-dees and gen-nil- 
min ! The air-ship’s gotta go to the garage for repairs ! One 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


47 

of the axles is busted! Step inside the tent and see the an-i- 
muls! And the greatest of all sword-swallerers, Absorbo!” 

“He never seems to tire of shouting, does he, Prinny?” said 
Violet. 

“No,” said the Princess laughing, “but it is his pleasure, 
Violet, so I do not mind. A circus man has as much fun that 
way as a kitty has howling on a fence.” 

“I do not mind his shouting either,” said Violet, “even 
though his grammar is very bad.” 

“One forgets grammar in a moment of excitement, Violet. 
I, for instance, have mee-owed ungrammatically a number of 
times.” 

“Yes, those things happen, Prinny,” said Violet, adding, 
“Is n’t the scenery wonderful?” 

“It is not at all displeasing, dear,” said the Princess. 

Violet and the Princess were quite right. The scenery was 
charming. And there was so much of it! As fast as they 
passed over one set of trees, hills, flowers, and brooks, another 
set of scenery appeared. And it was all laid out so that one 
did not tire of looking at it. For example, after one had passed 
a set of trees, hills, flowers, and brooks, there would be a set 
of bushes, hillocks, meadow grass, and rivulets. Along the 
banks of the rivulets, in some instances, rivulettuce grew. In 
other cases nothing grew. It all depended on the quality of 
the soil. 

After they had skimmed through the air for three hours, at 
the rate of thousands of miles an hour, they reached the Tabby- 
land border. This is a tall mountain owned by the King and 
bearing the royal coat of arms. It — the coat of arms — is 
marked in the snow that caps the peak. The sun is not per- 


48 THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 

mitted to shine here as this would melt the coat of arms and no 
one would know whose mountain this was. It is known as the 
Royal Highness Range, on account of its height and ownership. 
It is one of the most beautiful mountains in Tabbyland. One 
of its finest sights is the Kittonia Waterfall, or Cataract, as 
it is sometimes called. 

As they passed over the waterfall, a royal aeroplane rose out 
of a pine-tree to greet them. It bloonked its bloonker forty- 
six times (the official salute) and landed gracefully on a near- 
by cloud bank. The balloon also put its brakes on, but did not 
land on a cloud bank since there was n’t another one handy. 
It just stopped in midair. 

Rudolph and the aeroplane pilot exchanged greetings. 

“What kind of a trip did you have*?” asked the aeroplane 
pilot. 

“Fine!” said Rudolph. “No tire or engine trouble all the 
way.” 

“Good for you,” said the aeroplane pilot. “Are you going 
to take the Princess direct to the palace or do you wish me to 
do that?” 

“I will take her to the royal coach house, where she will board 
the royal motor-coach and drive to the palace.” 

“Very good,” said the aeroplane pilot flying off. 

Rudolph started the balloon and soon they were flying 
through space again. They were traveling faster than ever — 
perhaps because the balloon had had a chance to rest up and 
catch its breath — and in no time they were at the gates of the 
King’s coach house in Tabbyland. 

Violet rubbed her eyes as she looked around her, for on all 
sides she could see nothing but cats. The streets were full 
of them — a hundred different makes and sizes. “Is n’t this 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


49 

wonderful?” she cried. “I didn’t know there were so many 
cats in all the world!” 

This is only a few of them,” said the Princess. “Wait until 
you see the really busy streets of Tabbyland. This is just a 
side street.” 

“How interesting this all is!” cried Violet. 

“I knew you would like it, Violet,” said the Princess. 
Then, turning to Rudolph she commanded, “The royal coach 
at once!” In less time than it takes to say “Tra! la! la!” or 
“Siss! boom! ah!” or in fact almost any phrase at all, the coach 
was ready. 

Violet and the Princess — I mean the Princess and Violet, for 
a princess should always be mentioned first — entered. The 
coachman — I mean the coachcat, of course — cried, “ Giddap /” 
which in the cat language means “Re on your way!” and in a 
second the Princess Pauline, daughter of Thomas VI, King of 
Tabbyland, Kittonia, Pussyville, Purru, and Catlanta, and her 
friend Violet Valery were driving in state through the streets 
of the pussycat kingdom. Violet pinched herself to see if she 
was n’t dreaming. This is customary. She found to her de- 
light that she was not. “Oh, Prinny!” she cried, “this is won- 
derful!” 

“I ’m glad you like it, Violet,” said the Princess greatly 
pleased. 


As the royal motor-coach sped down Main Street Violet saw 
many things that delighted her. At the corner of State and 
Main Streets stood a traffic policeman — an alert little tom-cat 
with a bushy head. His duty was to direct the long line of 
automobiles that streamed past this busy corner day and night. 



The Lady Driver Scolding the Traffic Policeman 








THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


51 

The traffic policeman wore a gray uniform. Around his coat 
there was a black band signifying that he had seen five years 
of active service in the Tabbyland police force. At the end 
of the next five-year period he would receive another band. 
When he had so many bands that they covered his uniform 
completely he would be retired with a pension of a thousand 
pussetas a year (on which a family can live in comfort in Tab- 
byland) . On his breast (how brilliantly it flashed in the sun- 
light!) there was a badge, a five-pointed silver star. 

As the royal motor-coach approached, Violet saw that the 
traffic policeman was scolding a lady driver — a nervous little 
pussycat with a worried look — who had almost run into his 
signal-post. “You will have to drive more carefully, ma- 
dam/’ said the traffic policeman, “or you will be arrested. 
The King has instructed the police force to be very strict with 
reckless drivers.” 

“It was n’t my fault,” said the lady driver. “Your post 
was in the way.” 

“How ridiculous!” said the policeman. “This post belongs 
here. How can I direct traffic without it?” 

“You should pick it up and place it elsewhere when you see 
an automobile come toward it,” said the lady plainly vexed. 

“Nothing of the kind, madam,” said the policeman firmly. 

“You are too fussy,” said the lady. 

“I am not,” said the policeman. “You lady drivers make 
me tired. You are always breaking the law and expecting to 
go unpunished. A woman thinks she can do anything because 
she ’s a woman. The next time you try to run into my signal- 
post I will arrest you.” 

“You fresh thing!” said the lady driver angrily. “So the 
women of this country don’t suit you, eh? The Princess will 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


52 

hear of this!” Saying which she took out a note-book and a 
pencil and made a note of the policeman’s number. 

“The Princess has already heard of it, madam,” said the 
Princess Pauline as the royal coach drew up. “The officer is 
right. Learn to obey the laws or you will pay the penalty. 
You may go!” 

“The Princess herself!” exclaimed the lady driver in sur- 
prise. She was off in a second, fearing to trifle with the Prin- 
cess, who was known to be very strict in matters of the law. 

“You are a good policeman,” said the Princess, “and you 
will be rewarded for this. You may name your own reward.” 

“I ’d like to be transferred to the corner of Elm and Spruce. 
Not many lady drivers (no offense, your Highness) pass there,” 
he said with a twinkle in his eye. 

“It shall be done,” said the Princess, who was very broad- 
minded. “I do not blame you. Some women are very try- 
ing-”. 

With this the Princess ordered the royal chauffeur to proceed. 


CHAPTER IX 


Look! here we are in Tabbyland ! 

If you will take dear Prinny’s hand 
(By now you know I mean her paw) 

She’ll lead you (while you gaze in awe) 

To wondrous places where you ’ll see 
So many cats that if a flea 
Tried to annoy them all he ’d tire 
Long ere he ’d reach his heart’s desire: 

In fact before the hundredth cat 
He ’d reached he ’d be so weary that 
He ’ d topple off his feet and lie 
There till some pussy passing by 
Would trample on his sleeping head 
And leave him lying rather dead. 

A S they drove through the streets of Tabbyland a 
thousand and one interesting sights greeted Violet’s 
gaze. 

“This is the most wonderful, wonderful , WONDERFUL 
place I have ever seen!” she cried. 

“If you wish,” said the Princess, “I will ask the chauffeur to 
stop at the market-place so that you may have a better chance 
to see things.” 

“Oh, will you, Prinny?” exclaimed Violet. “That will be 
lovely.” 

When they reached the market-place the royal motor-coach 
stopped. Violet was delighted. “What a nice market- 

53 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


54 

place!” she said. “Why, they sell everything here just as the 
markets do at home!” 

“Yes,” said the Princess, “everything is sold here. And the 
prices are fair. Father sees to that. Any merchant that over- 
charges is not allowed to sell any more. . Under Michael III, 
who ruled some years ago, there was great suffering among the 
poor on account of high prices. Many a cat, unable to buy 
food for her children, killed herself in despair with an over- 
dose of catnip. It was frightful. But it will never happen 
again. Even the poorest cat can afford to pay the present 
prices. Potatoes, for instance, sell for seven pussetas a peck. 
Is n’t that cheap*?” 

“Yes,” said Violet, who did n’t remember how much money 
seven pussetas was but who was sure that if the Princess said 
that was cheap it was cheap. 

The market-place was thronged with cats. They were there 
to buy groceries, vegetables, or whatever they happened to 
need. There were dogs too — many of them. These dogs 
were in the service of cat families. In Tabbyland the dogs 
worked for the cats; they were servant-girls, nurses, porters, 
etc., according to the kind of dog. One of the most interest- 
ing-looking dogs Violet saw was Rosie Rover, nurse-maid for 
a wealthy Tabbyland family. She came to market every day 
with her master’s three children — Pussies Julia, Alice, and 
Louise. She wheeled them in a little pussy go-cart. The 
children loved the market-place for here mice-cream was to be 
had, that delicious frozen sweet that all pussycats relish. It is 
not unlike our own ice-cream. The only difference is in the 
flavoring. 

“Nurthie, I want thome mithe-cream!” lisped little Julia. 



The Tabbyland Market-Place 









■ 










'ms& 




Nursie Rose Rover and Pussies Julia, Alice, and Louise 





Mice Cream! Nice fresh Mice Cream! 






THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


*8 

“I want some too!” cried little Alice. 

“Me too!” echoed little Louise. 

Nursie Rosie Rover signaled the mice-cream man, who 
stopped a few feet away. In a jiffy he was on the spot with 
his little wooden cart that held a can of the precious sweet. 
He was a very neat-looking mice-cream man. He wore a 
white cap and apron and his paws were very clean. 

“How many*?” he asked. 

“Three,” said Rosie. 

He dug into his can and came up with three bricks of deli- 
cious mice-cream. He handed them to Rosie, who gave him a 
pusseta in payment. 

“Thank you,” he said politely and in a second he was off 
again shouting, “Mice-cream! Nice fresh mice-cream!” 

When they had seen everything in the market-place, Violet 
and the Princess proceeded on their way to the palace. They 
passed, among other things, the Tabbyland playground. 
Here Violet saw hundreds of little pussycats having a wonder- 
ful time. Some of them were on swings, some were playing 
baseball, others were running races. Their laughter rang out 
merrily. 

In one corner of the playground a rope-skipping contest 
was in progress. Scores of cats had gathered to watch. 
“That pussy with the long lace-trimmed dress,” said the Prin- 
cess, “is the champion rope-skipper of Tabbyland. Her name 
is Sally Smith. She has won the cup — that is, the milk bowl 
— two years straight. If she wins it again to-day the bowl is 
hers.” 

“Eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, — ” counted Sally 
Smith as she blithely skipped and skipped to the wonderment 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


59 

of her audience. Noticing the Princess, Sally bowed her head 
but continued to jump the rope. 

“Thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three — ” 

“Splendid, Sally!” exclaimed the Princess. “I believe you 
will win again.” 

“Thirty-nine — thank you, your Highness — forty, forty- 
one, — ” continued the delighted champion. 

“How do you do it, Sally ?’ asked the Princess. “You are 
wonderful!” 

“Fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two — never break training like some 
foolish athletes — fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five — use catnip 
only in moderation — fifty-six, fifty-seven — never drink or 
smoke — fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty, sixty-one! I win! But 
I ’m going to try for a new record. Sixty-two, sixty-three, 
sixty-four, — ” 

A group of Sally’s schoolmates began to cheer: 

“She ’s the champ again ! Ha ! ha ! 

Sally! Sally! Rah! rah! rah!” 

“Congratulations, Sally!” said the Princess as she turned to 
go- 

“Seventy-one, seventy-two — thank you, your Highness — 
seventy-three, — ” continued the champion. 

“It is getting late,” said the Princess to Violet. “Father 
and mother will worry if I do not return soon. We will see 
the other sights some other time.” 

In a moment they were again on their way. Fifteen 
minutes later the royal motor-coach came to a halt. They 
were at the gates of the palace. 



Sally Smith, the Champion Rope-Skipper of Tabbyland 




CHAPTER X 


The Princess is at home again. 

If I were she I ’ d cry , “Amen!” 

A S the royal motor-coach drew up at the gates of the 
palace beautiful chimes began to ring in the tower. 
They were chimes of rejoicing. They announced 
the safe return to Tabby land of the beloved Princess Pauline. 
Soon all the church-bells were ringing, too, and Violet, thrilled 
beyond measure, declared that she had never before heard such 
a happy chorus of ding-donging. It seemed as if all the merry 
bells in the world, all the bells that could make sweet music, 
were ringing here in Tabbyland. The jubilant music swelled 
and swelled until even the Princess, who took her honors 
calmly, said that this was the jolliest bell-ringing she had ever 
heard. “It is even louder,” she said, “than the ding-donging 
that took place the day I was born. And that, as I remember 
it, was a wild reception.” 

As Violet and the Princess stepped out of the royal motor- 
coach they were met by two little pussycat heralds that blew 
sweet-sounding trumpets of welcome and then knelt in thank- 
ful prayer for the safe return of her Highness. 

As the Princess and Violet reached the golden gates of the 
palace, which needless to say glittered in the sunlight, the 
royal choir, from a balcony above, began to sing : 

“Oh, welcome back to Tabbyland, 

Your royal Majestee! 

We ’re yours, as ever, to command, 

Whate’er your wishes be! 

61 


62 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“We purr a purr of purrfect bliss 
To see you home so soon, 

And greet you joyously with this 
Invigorating tune: 

CHORUS 

“Three cheers for our good Princess! 
Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow! 

We love her well and so we yell 
Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow! 

“Salute our noble Princess! 

Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow! 

She is a dear and so we cheer 
Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow! 

“Oh, Princess, ask us anything, 

We ’ll do it on the spot ! 

We love you as we love the King, 

And him we love a lot! 

“We love you as we love our milk, 

And that is love devout; 

We think that you are fine as silk, 

And so we gayly shout: 

CHORUS 

“Three cheers for our good Princess! 
Mee-ow! Mee-ow! M ee-ow! 

She ’s very kind and most refined! 

Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow! 

“Here ’s to her Royal Highness! 

Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow! 

The court *s delight! She treats us right! 
Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow !” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


63 

The Princess acknowledged this rousing welcome with her 
best royal smile and an approving gesture of the paw. This 
made the choir very happy. So should you be happy if a Prin- 
cess smiled to you. So should I, for that matter. 

They were now in the courtyard of the palace. (Every 
court has a courtyard.) This one was paved with silver. 
Little tom-cats, the sons of Tabbyland lords and dukes, were 
playing marbles here. The marbles and “immies,” which 
were rounded pearls, opals, or emeralds, according to the taste 
of the player, made a pretty sight as they flashed over the silver 
walk in the sunlight. The royal tom-cats stopped playing for 
a moment as the Princess passed, and clapped their paws. 
Her Majesty again smiled her most golden smile. 

They were now at the grand majestic portal or main en- 
trance of the palace. This was the most magnificent door- 
way Violet had ever seen. It was even more beautiful than 
anything she had ever seen in the movies. Every one knows 
— at least, I do, for I know a man who makes movies and he 
told me — that some of the gorgeous things one sees in motion- 
pictures are n’t real. These things were real. Any one could 
tell by touching these massive shiny doors that they were solid 
gold. And if one could riot tell that way, one could tell by 
reading the “14 carat” marks that were plainly stamped on 
them. There was no doubt about it. These were solid gold 
doors. 

“Have you got your key, Prinny*?” asked Violet as she 
stared in wonder at the solid gold doors. 

“It is unnecessary, Violet,” said the Princess. 

“How foolish of me !” said Violet. “I had n’t thought of 
the door-bell. Shall I ring it, Prinny?” 

“I am afraid you won’t find one, dear,” said the Princess 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


64 

smiling; “there are no door-bells in palaces. I stamp my paw 
and the doors fly open. Watch!” With this the Princess 
stamped her paw — I did n’t notice which one — and the golden 
doors flew open. This was one of the most unusual things 
Violet had ever seen. She lost no time in saying so. 

Violet fairly gasped as she entered the palace. It was an 
amazing sight. In the center of the room — hanging from the 
ceiling of course — was an enormous chandelier brilliantly lit. 
It was the largest piece of cut-glass Violet had ever seen. It 
shone like the sun on a summer’s day. One could not look 
at it without blinking. It was a most dazzling sight. It 
made it impossible to see anything else in the room (so I 
sha’n’t describe anything else in the room) . 

“We will now go to see the King and Queen,” said the 
Princess. 

“Oh, that will be delightful!” said Violet, who by now was 
dazed from looking at the glittering chandelier. 

As they walked toward the royal elevator the royal orchestra, 
which was hidden among some ferns, began to play. Foun- 
tains — I almost forgot them — played also. Violet was having 
a wonderful time. 

They were now in the elevator. Beyond the fact that it 
was made of gold, which you ’d know even if I did n’t tell you, 
and that the “NO SMOKING” sign was carved in ivory, there 
was nothing unusual about the royal elevator. 

In no time they were out of the elevator and at the door of 
the throne-room. The Princess stamped her paw and the door 
flew open. As they entered the throne-room a thousand cana- 
ries burst into song. Birds of paradise could be seen walking 
on the ceiling (which was a beautiful painting of heaven in 
six colors). Peacocks were strutting around grandly. A 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


65 

stray humming-bird was humming a popular tune. A royal 
hussar, clad in Valenciennes lace and bearing a golden gun, 
was walking up and down. And there on his aluminum — no, 
platinum — throne (I always get those metals mixed) sat the 
King himself. To his right but not on the throne — for only 
the King is allowed to sit there — sat the Queen. 

“Daughter!” exclaimed the Queen as she and the Princess 
embraced. 

“Mommer dear!” cried the happy Princess. 

“Daughter!” exclaimed the King as he and the Princess em- 
braced. 

“Popper dear!” cried the happy Princess. 

And so on down the line. (There were many relatives pres- 
ent, but we need n’t bother about them.) 

“How glad I am to see you back, Pauline!” said the King 
twirling his mustache. 

“And how glad / am to be in Tabbyland again!” said the 
Princess. 

“We were beginning to worry,” said the Queen. “You are 
several hours late, dear.” 

“I will explain that later, mommer dear,” said the Princess. 

“Tire trouble?” asked the King. 

“No,” said the Princess, “the balloon gave us no trouble.” 

“Have a good time?” asked the King. 

“Splendid!” said the Princess. 

“Good. Who is your friend, daughter?” 

“Oh, I almost forgot to introduce her, popper.” 

“You really should n’t ‘popper’ me so much before strangers, 
dear,” said the King. 

“That is so, your Majesty,” said the Princess. 

“Introduce your friend, dear,” said the King. 


66 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


The Princess called over Violet who was watching a tom- 
catfish turn somersaults in a bowl that stood between some 
rows of golden flower-pots in which were purple daisies, the 
royal Tabbyland flower. 

“Violet,” said the Princess, “meet my father the King.” 

“Charmed,” said Violet kneeling. She had often heard her 
mother use this word. 

“Pleased to meet you,” said the King, “even though” — and 
he was very pleasant as he said this — “you are not kneeling 
correctly.” 

“Is this better, your Highness*?” said Violet changing the 
position. 

“Yes, that will do nicely,” said the King. 

“I am so grateful for this chance to see Tabbyland and the 
court!” exclaimed Violet. 

“Oh, that ’s a trifle,” said the King lighting a cigar. “The 
Princess’s friends are welcome here.” 

“Yes,” said the Queen, “and it has always been so. We 
love her dearly.” 

“What do you think of my place*?” said the King looking 
around the room contentedly. 

“Wonderful!” cried Violet. “I have never seen anything 
like it.” 

“Yes,” said the King, “it is not at all bad. Every once in 
a while the missis — pardon, I mean the Queen — gets an idea 
that she wants to move into something a little nicer, but I ’ve 
grown so accustomed to the old home that I would n’t be com- 
fortable anywhere else. Since I had the elevator put in, the 
little woman — pardon, I mean her Majesty — seems satisfied, 
too, so I guess we ’ll stay here.” 



The King and Queen of Tabbyland Greeting the Princess on Her Return to the Palace 






68 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“I should think you would, your Highness!” exclaimed 
Violet. “It is enchanting here.” 

“You may rise now, Violet,” said the King; “that is a very 
uncomfortable position.” 

“Thank you,” said Violet rising. 

“Do not mention it,” said the King. “It is a trifle. And 
now let us get some supper.” 

The Queen elevated her eyebrows. 

“I mean dinner,” said the King. 


CHAPTER XI 


The palace is so lovely that 
I wish I were a royal cat. 

The only nicer place is. heaven 

And I should like to live eleven 

Or twelve years longer — maybe more — 

And have my fill of pie before 
I take a ride to heaven’s gate. 

It’s jolly there but I can wait. 

The palace h so lovely that 
I wish I were a royal cat ! 

T HOMAS VI stamped his paw and the door of the 
royal festival chamber flew open. As the King’s 
party stepped inside they were met by the famous 
butterfly chariot. This was a little golden carriage drawn by 
a thousand lovely butterflies. For seats there were beautiful 
white lilies with commodious openings at the top. As soon 
as the King, the Queen, the Princess, and Violet were comfor- 
tably seated (this was the vernal season and the lilies made 
springy seats) the driver said, “Giddap!” and they were 
whisked to the royal banquet table. As the chariot pulled up, 
the butterflies unharnessed themselves and rose in brilliant 
spirals above the glittering table until they reached the flash- 
ing prisms of diamond-like glass that hung from the ceiling. 
Each but'terfly landed on a prism and in an instant the room was 
a riot of sparkling color. 


70 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“Oh, this is wonderful!” cried Violet for the eleventh time 
that day. And one could hardly blame her. 

“Yes, we rather like it,” said the King, “although the stage- 
manager of the palace told me this morning that we could im- 
prove the effect by flashing a few spot lights on the whole busi- 
ness. But that is neither here nor there. Let us sit down.” 

They were seated. 

“While we are waiting for the royal taster to sample the 
food and see that it is fit to eat, let us hear about your trip, 
Princess,” said the King. 

The Princess began .her story. As she told how Mr. Grumm- 
bel threw a shoe at her and sent her flying off the fence the King 
frowned and exclaimed, “The wretch!” 

Overhearing the conversation the court jester, a pussycat 
dressed like a clown, began to sing: 

“With a ‘shoo!’ he tried to chase her Majestee, 

With still another shoe he viciouslee — ” 

“Be still, fool!” cried the King. 

The Princess resumed. She told how Mr. Grummbel tried 
to drown her and of her rescue by Violet. 

“You shall be rewarded for this, Violet,” said the King. 

“Oh, thank you, your Majesty!” exclaimed Violet. 

“Where was your governess, Dorothy, while all this 
happened?” asked the King. “Why didn’t she chase Mr. 
Grummbel?” 

“She fled in terror when I was struck,” said the Princess. 

“What!” exclaimed the King. 

“Yes,” said the Princess again, “she ran away. And later 
when I met her at a circus she refused to come back to Tabby- 
land.” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


7i 


“This is too much!” cried the King. 

“Indeed it is!” said the Queen. 

“That dog will pay for this!” roared the King. “Boy” — 
he was addressing a page who stood near-by — “tell the prime 
minister to send out a thousand knights in quest of Doggie 
Dorothy, the Princess’s governess! She has run away from 
Tabbyland! Quick!” 

The page left at once to deliver the message. 

“I ’ll teach that dog!” said the King. “I ’ll show her!” 

“Do!” said the Queen. 

“I ’m beginning to wonder whether you can trust a dog,” 
continued his Majesty. “They ’re always up to mischief. 
Some of my best friends are dogs but as a race they ’re no good.” 

At this point the King’s official taster, Mrs. Fanny Furr, a 
pretty gray cat with bright green eyes, entered to announce 
that she had tasted the dinner and found it satisfactory. 

“It ’s time you came, taster,” said the King. “I thought for 
a moment you had forgotten we were here.” 

“We had some trouble in the kitchen, your Highness,” said 
the taster. “The cook found an impudent little mouse nib- 
bling away at one of the layer-cakes. But while this has de- 
layed us it has improved your dinner. For the cook, after 
catching the mouse, put it in your soup-plate, saying, The 
King will enjoy this.’ ” 

'“Have it served at once!” commanded the King. “I’m 
hungry.” 

“Yes, your Highness!” said the taster with a charming 
curtsey. 

Turning to the jester the King said : “Sing, fool ! Don’t you 
know enough to sing when dinner is on the wav'?” 

“There are better voices than mine in the kitchen,” said the 



King Thomas’ Food Taster 






The Cook Catches a Mouse in the Layer Cake 




THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


74 

jester merrily. “I will open the kitchen door, your Majesty, 
and you will hear the kettles sing.” 

“That is a bad joke,” said the King. “Another one like it 
and you ’ll be looking around for your head. Remember that! 
And now, knave, sing!” 

The jester began : 

“The King he is a cultured cat, 

He ’s mannerly and neat, 

He never stains the table-cloth. 

I love to watch him eat ! 

“The King he is a polished cat, 

He always has a shine — ” 

“Enough of that, fool!” cried the King. “Seek not to win 
my favor with flattery!” 

So the fool tried another song : 

“The King is fond of fish; 

He eats it frequentlee 
And drowns it with a dish 
Of Oolong Majestea. 

“The King is fond of stew. 

Here stew his appetite! 

And to the steward who 

Prepares the stew each night! 

“The King is fond of hash. 

We serve it to him in 
A golden hash-can (with a dash 
Of grated terrapin). 

“The King — ” 

“Plague take you, knave!” roared the King. “Is that the 
best you can do 4 ?” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


75 


“What kind of song do you wish, your Highness*?” 

“A song, fool, that is not too mirthful and yet not too sad. 
One would think from your tomfoolery that there is no sorrow 
in the world.” 

“Very well, your Highness, my tomcatfoolery shall grow 
less. I have gone without a meal in my day and know what it 
is to suffer.” 

“Less of talk, fool, and more of song!” 

So the fool sang: 

“When I survey my splendid home 
And think of all the cats that roam 
In poverty from here to Nome 
And back again to Dover, 

I am the most unhappy cat 
That ever at a spaniel spat, 

Or feasted on a juicy rat, 

Or knocked a fish-bowl over. 

At times like this I wring my paws 
And wish that there were better laws. 

I do these little things because 
I ’m kind ; it makes me shiver 
To think of all the cats that go 
For weeks without a dinner. Oh, 

If I could spare it I would throw 
Them each a piece of liver!” 

“A little better,” said the monarch, “but you may leave out 
the lines, 

“ ‘At times like this I wring my paws 
And wish that there were better laws.’ 

“I make the laws and there ’s nothing the matter with them.” 

“Yes, your Highness.” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


76 

“And now, fool, out of my sight!” The jester vanished. 

Dinner was then served. The first course was liver (served 
by liveried attendants) . Then there was catnip on toast. 
And boiled fish heads, with mushroom sauce. And a dozen 
other dainties, all served in golden dishes. When the dinner 
was over and the paw-bowls were brought in and every one had 
washed, the King said: “Much to my regret I shall have to 
leave you. The escape of Doggie Dorothy worries me, as you 
have probably noticed, and I wish to talk with the prime 
minister.” 

“Go right ahead, your Highness,” said the Queen; “business 
before pleasure.” 

“I never have an evening to myself,” said the King, “but 
I do not mind. The people come first.” 

“That is a noble sentiment!” cried Violet. 

“Not at all,” said the King rising. “I simply try to do my 
duty.” 

“Mother and I will show Violet around the place while you 
are gone, father,” said the Princess. “Now don’t work too 
hard, dear. It is n’t good for you.” 

The King then kissed the Princess and the Queen, and, 
signaling the butterflies to come down from their places on the 
ceiling, departed in the butterfly chariot. 



The Court Jester of Tabby land 



CHAPTER XII 


I like the country very much , 

The fields , the trees, the flowers , and such. 

ii 

Hear the little sparrows crying , 

Cheep , cheep! cheep , cheep! cheep , cheep! 

Hear the little chickens sighing , 

P00/>, peep! peep , peep! peep , peep! 

Hear the cuckoo's song o' erflowing, 

Koo , koo! koo , koo! koo , koo! 

Hear the gentle cattle lowing , 

M00, moo ! moo , 7^00/ moo , 7^00/ 

Cheep , cheep! koo , koo! peep, peep! moo, moo! 

Sweeter sounds are very few. 

Each one is a pretty call 

And I love them one and all. 

hi 

£00 /A0 pretty butterfly 
Fly from limb to limb. 

We'd be happy, you and I, 

If we could fly like him. 

IV 

to the hum of the bee, 

And the crick-crick-crick of the cricket. 

These sounds are so pleasing to me 
I think I shall move to the thicket. 


78 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 79 

T HE next morning, after Violet had written a long 
letter to her father and mother telling of the wonders 
of Tabbyland, the Princess announced that they 
would take a ride into the country. “I want to show you 
some of the beautiful places near-by — the garden-spots, as my 
dear father calls them.” 

“That will be lovely, Prinny,” said Violet placing a stamp 
on her letter. “O Prinny, I have written mother and father 
how lovely it is here ! They will be so happy to know I am 
having a good time!” 

“I hope you mentioned to your mother that the King some 
day this week will ordain that new wall-paper — of the latest 
design — replace the old paper that is now on the walls of your 
home. She requested it, you will recall. I told the King of 
this last night and he said, ‘It shall be done. It is really a very 
modest request.’ ” 

“Yes, I have mentioned it in my letter, Prinny. Mother 
will be so happy!” 

“Fine!” said the Princess. “And now let us start for the 
country.” 

As they drove out of the courtyard in the royal motor-coach 
little newscats could be heard crying: “Wuxtree! Wuxtree! 
Get the big wuxtree !” 

“Stop!” the Princess commanded the chauffeur. When the 
motor-coach came to a halt she signaled to one of the newscats. 
In a jiffy he was on the running-board of the coach. “How 
many, lady?” he asked. 

“One will do, thank you,” said the Princess, not overpleased 
with this familiarity. As the newscat gave her a copy of “The 
Daily Cat-o’-Nine-Tales” the Princess handed him a golden 
five-pusseta piece. 


8o 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“I have n’t the change, lady,” he said, longingly turning it 
over in his paw. 

“You may keep the change, boy. But the next time do not 
‘lady’ me, please. As my father the King has often pointed 
out in speeches from the palace steps, which you had the privi- 
lege of hearing for nothing, a member of the royal family 
should be addressed as ‘your Highness,’ ‘your Majesty,’ ‘your 
Grace,’ or ‘your Worship.’ Any one of them will do. I am 
not particular.” 

“My mistake, your Highness,” said the newscat touching 
his cap and bowing. “Thanks for the fiver.” 

“Oh, you are welcome, my lad. Buy your mother a new 
hat for it. You will never be sorry you did. There is nothing 
quite like a mother. Remember that.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“There go your manners again.” 

“Sorry, your Highness.” 

“You must be more careful.” 

“Yes, your Majesty.” 

“It is not asking much.” 

“Yes, your Grace.” 

“And now run along.” 

“Yes, your Worship.” 

“That is better; you are learning. Good-by.” 

“Good-by, your” — here he used what he thought was still 
another royal salutation — “Honor.” 

“Gosh, fellers!” the newscat could be heard exclaiming as 
he joined his comrades. “That ’s the Princess. Lookit the 
fiver she gimme.” 

“Holy smokes!” 

“Geewhillikens!” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


81 


“Nice gal, the Princess. Strict but kind.” 

“I ’ll say she ’s kind. Last week she bought a box for the 
Newscats’ Annual Christmas Benefit for a thousand pussetas.” 

“Give her respect and she ’ll give you the palace.” 

“Yeah, she ’s a good scout.” 

“Yop, strict but kind, as Larry says.” 

The Princess smiled as she heard these comments of the 
little newscats. “They are coarse little fellows in some ways 
but as loyal as they can be,” she said pleasantly. 

“Yes,” said Violet, “they are very nice in their way.” 

Picking up “The Cat-o’Nine-Tales” she had placed on the 
seat the Princess said : “I hope it is n’t another one of those fake 
extras. I heard my father say the other day that if there are 
any more of them he will pass a law making it a crime. ‘The 
Tabbyland Purr’ and ‘The Morning Catalogue’ have been the 
worst offenders. ‘The Cat-o’-Nine-Tales’ is usually reliable.” 

As she glanced at the paper this striking head-line met the 
Princess’s eye: 

DOGGIE DOROTHY, PRIN- 
CESS’S GOVERNESS, 

A RUNAWAY 


King Sends 1,000 Knights in 
Quest of Fugitive 


Will be Severely Punished if 
Caught, Says Prime 
Minister 


Great Excitement In Palace 


82 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“Well, it ’s no fake this time,” said the Princess. “The 
reporters saw my father last night. Listen: 

“The King, when interviewed by a reporter for The Daily Cat-o’ 
Nine-Tales’, said: 

“ ‘After all there is little to be said. Doggie Dorothy deserted my 
daughter, the Princess Pauline, in a moment of need and refused to 
return to the palace. This of course is a serious matter. I have sent 
out one thousand knights to scour the world for the unfaithful dog. 
She will be brought back and punished. This sort of thing cannot be 
permitted to go on in my kingdom. We must show the dogs their 
places. Some of my best friends are dogs but as a race they bear 
watching. 

“ ‘Will she be sentenced to death*? No, although it would teach 
her a good lesson if I did. The prime minister and I have decided to 
lock her in the tower for five years. 

“ ‘I have nothing further to say.’ ” 

“Do you think they will catch her, Prinny*?” asked Violet 
excitedly. 

“When the King sends out a thousand knights they usually 
bring back what he is after. I have known occasions when he 
sent out a hundred knights or two hundred knights and failed 
to get the desired results but whenever he has sent them out in 
lots of a thousand there has been no difficulty. Dorothy’s one 
chance is to cross the border to Dogland, the dog kingdom ruled 
by Fido IV, but as she has to pass through one of the Tabby- 
land provinces to do that I don’t think there is much hope for 
her.” 

“That is good,” said Violet. “She has been a naughty dog 
and deserves to be punished.” 

By this time the royal motor-coach was well in the country. 
“How lovely it is here!” cried Violet. 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


83 


“Yes, it is quite pleasant,” said the Princess. 

“The air is so pure and sweet!” exclaimed Violet. 

“Yes, it is dusted off every morning,” said the Princess. 
“The air-dusters come around every morning in ’planes that 
trail huge brushes. It is the only way we can keep the air 
fresh with all the factories that are springing up in every di- 
rection.” 

“How well everything is run in Tabbyland!” cried Violet. 

“Well, my father promised these things to the people when 
he ran for King on the Cats’ Rights ticket, and he has simply 
kept his promises.” 

“What a wonderful father you have!” cried Violet. 

“Yes, I like him very much,” said the Princess. 

“What beautiful scenery!” exclaimed Violet. “It is the 
loveliest I have ever seen. See that darling grove of meadow 
orchids.” 

“I have looked at it often, dear,” said the Princess, “and as 
you say it is not without its appeal.” 

“And those sweet little catbirds. Oh, how I love them!” 

“You are not the only one that does,” said the Princess 
pointing to the figure of a kitty helping another kitty to climb 
a tree in one of whose limbs reposed a catbird nest. A num- 
ber of eggs that had evidently been taken from another nest 
bulged out of the climbing cat’s trousers. 

The Princess took out her golden cop’s whistle and began to 
blow it. The frightened pussycats, hearing the dreaded sig- 
nal, started to run. “Stay where you are!” commanded the 
Princess. The poachers, trembling with fright, stopped run- 
ning. 

“It’s the Princess!” cried one of them who proved to be a 
pretty pussycat maiden. 



Charlie and Katie Katorze Stealing Catbird Eggs 



THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


85 

‘'Heavens above!” cried the other who was a young tomcat. 

Ordering the chauffeur to stop the motor-coach the Princess 
cried, “Come here at once, both of you!” 

The terrified pussies approached. 

“A little faster, please!” commanded the Princess. As .they 
reached the royal coach the Princess asked, “What do you mean 
by stealing birds’ eggs'? Don’t you know it is n’t allowed?” 

“We were hungry, your Highness!” cried the young man. 

“Yes, very hungry!” exclaimed the maiden. 

“That is no excuse for stealing!” said the Princess sternly. 

“We are so sorry, your Worship!” pleaded the young man. 

“What is your name?” asked the Princess. 

“Charlie Katorze. This is my sister, Katie Katorze.” 

“Related to Louis Katorze, the court magician?” 

“His — his children,” stammered Charlie. 

“What!” exclaimed the Princess. 

“Y-yes,” said Charlie nervously. 

“Well, of all things!” said the Princess. “You the children 
of Louis Katorze, the court magician, and you stand there and 
tell me you stole eggs because you were hungry! What non- 
sense! Louis Katorze, your noble father (Oh, this disgrace 
will kill him!) , is one of the highest paid cats in all Tabbyland, 
and he gives you all the food you need. You are in the habit 
of stealing eggs because you are naughty children. Take 
those eggs out of your pocket, Charles, and put them back 
where you got them. And don’t let me ever see either of you 
doing this again !” 

“R-really, your Highness, I do not steal eggs because I am 
naughty,” pleaded Charles restoring them to the looted nest. 
“It is a bad habit, that is all. I can’t look at an egg without 
wanting to snatch it. My father took me to the doctor’s about 


86 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


it. The doctor said it would take a long time to cure me. 
What is the name of the disease, Katie 4 ?” 

“I have forgotten, Charles. It is a very long word, though, 
and hard to say.” 

“I remember! Eggalomania! Yes, that’s it, though I’m 
sure I don’t know what it means.” 

“If you are suffering from eggalomania I am sorry for you,” 
said the Princess, “but the law is the law and you can’t be 
permitted to steal eggs. Run along.” 

“May n’t we stay in the country a while longer, your High- 
ness 4 ?” begged Katie. “We should love to go fishing.” 

“You may go fishing, Charles and Katie, but don’t forget 
that one-half of what you catch goes to the King,” said the 
Princess. “So many cats — cats that my noble father has be- 
friended — forget this rule ! I hope you will have the goodness 
to observe it.” 

“He shall have half, your Highness,” said Charles. “I 
know how busy the King is with the Doggie Dorothy matter 
and that he has n’t time to catch his own fish. He shall have 
half!” 

“Very well, then,” said the Princess, “go ahead and fish.” 

“Oh, thank you, your Highness!” cried Charles. 

“You are so kind!” exclaimed Katie. 

“Good-by, children,” said the Princess. “And remember — 
don’t cheat the King.” 

“He shall have one-half!” chorused Charles and Katie. 

The Princess once more commanded the royal chauffeur to 
proceed. 

As they sped down the road Violet noticed a number of huge 
advertising sign-boards. 



Charlie and Katie Katorze Fishing 




88 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“We have those at home too, Prinny !” said Violet. 

“Yes, dear,” said the Princess, “I noticed when I was there 
that you folks were copying our custom.” 

Most of the signs advertised homes in the country. One 
read : 

BE A SENSIBLE CAT 
AND 

OWN YOUR OWN HOME 
COME TO PUSSYVILLE! 

UP-TO-DATE SCHOOLS 
LOW TAXES 

FIVE MINUTES FROM TROLLEY 

Others advertised beverages. One of them read: 

TRY CATNIPOLA 
IT ’S MILD AND YET 
IT SATISFIES 

A tobacco sign announced : 

TABBYLAND PERFECTOS 
SMOKE ’EM AND SMILE 
THE KING’S CHOICE 

In the right-hand corner of the sign was a picture of Thomas 
VI smilingly smoking a Tabbyland Perfecto. Underneath the 
picture in the King’s own handwriting appeared this testi- 
monial : 

Give me a Tabbyland Perfecto every time. Nothing else will do. 

Thomas VI 

Tabbyland Palace. 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


89 

In another hour they were in the little town of Tabbonia 
where many of the wealthiest Tabbyland families dwelt. 
This was what was known as “the restricted neighborhood.” 
Only the best families lived here. If you could n’t prove that 
your ancestors were among the earliest settlers in Tabbyland 
it was useless to try to buy a home here. You might just as 
well try to buy the famous Kittonia Cataract — or the king’s 
balloon. 

Tabbonia was a beautiful town. The houses, many of 
which were modeled after the palace, were magnificent. There 
was n’t as much gold in them, it is true, as there was in the 
palace but there was enough to go round, and when the sun 
was on duty in this part of Tabbyland these mansions glittered 
brilliantly enough to suit even the most particular person. 

Even the Princess, who took everything calmly, was 
prompted to say that she rather enjoyed passing through Tab- 
bonia. “It is an altogether pleasing experience,” she observed. 

“Indeed it is, Prinny! It is wonderful, wonderful , WON- 
DERFUL!” 

The walks in front of the houses were made of polished 
marble. Each section of marble bore the coat of arms of the 
particular family that lived there. Many of the most famous 
Tabbyland families were represented on these marble walks. 
There were the Mewlenheimers, descended from old General 
Mewlenheimer, that stanch old pussy patriot who led the 
Tabbylanders to many a glorious victory over the rebellious 
Kittonians in the cruel civil war of 1792. There were the 
O’Phelines, who could trace their ancestry back to Felix 
O’Feeline of Purru (the spelling is slightly different but that 
has nothing to do with it) who, in the dark days of 1252, when 
there were few mariners that dared to brave the briny deep, 


90 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


crossed the Catlantic in a frail one horse-power catboat and 
settled the west coast of Tabbyland. There were the Angoras, 
descended from the original Anne Gora, a member of the 
O’Feeline expedition and the same cat that warned her brethren 
on the now historic night of June 31, 1252, of the approach 
of the hostile Indian tribes that attacked them at midnight and 
wiped out hundreds of the earliest Tabbyland settlers before 
they were repulsed. (See Grey whiskers’s “Tabbyland His- 
tory,” p. 157, section 116.) There are statues of Anne Gora 
in dozens of Tabbyland cities. If she had not warned of the 
Indian advance (she had a strong sense of smell and scented 
them five miles off) every one of those brave Pilgrim Fathers 
would have been slaughtered in bed and there would be no 
descendants to-day to live in splendor and glory in Tabbonia. 
And then there were the Sinnermins, the Purrsians, the Paw- 
Paws, and many others — all noble pussycat families, all 100% 
Tabbylanders. 

So that you will not be surprised when I tell you that as 
the royal motor-coach swung down Ancestor Alley, the main 
thoroughfare, there was a wild chorus of acclaim from those 
stanch old patriots. In a jiffy the national colors were flying 
from every roof, every bloonker was bloonking, every bell ring- 
ing, every pussycat cheering. 

And how appropriate that at the very moment when the 
cheering was loudest the King’s thousand knights that had been 
sent in quest of Doggie Dorothy should come swinging up the 
street, colors flying and band playing, with the captured run- 
away, mournfully marching between two armed guards, bring- 
ing up the rear! 

“Doggie Dorothy’s captured!” was on every one’s lips. 
What a scene of rejoicing! How the mob shrieked its delight! 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


9i 

And when the crowd had done cheering the knights, the 
general of that brave command stood bolt upright on his beau- 
tiful white steed and cried, “And now all ye Tabbonians and 
all my valiant knights, a last long cheer for the dear Princess 
whose noble spirit hovered over us like a guardian angel and 
spurred us on in the darkest moment of our trying quest!” 

And for an hour you could hear nothing but the deafening 
roar of five thousand Tabbonians and a thousand knights 
shouting : 

“ Three cheers for our good Princess! 

Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow! 

We love her well and so we yell 
Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow! 

“Salute our noble Princess! 

Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow! 

She is a dear and so we cheer 
Mee-ow! Mee-ow! Mee-ow!” 


CHAPTER XIII 


The cats are happy as can be 
That they have captured Dorothy . 

I ’ m glad myself. I hope that you 
Are very * very happy too. 

T HE capture of Doggie Dorothy caused great rejoic- 
ing in the King’s court and throughout Tabbyland. 
Coming, as it did, the day before the ball of the great 
Baron of Milkbowl it can readily be seen what merriment there 
was in the palace. Dukes, earls, and lords patted each other 
affectionately on the back and said, “Great news, is n’t it*?” 

What glee there was! In fact the royal glee-club sang the 
national anthem: 

By fair Kittonia’s catnip flowers, 

Catlanta’s rocks and hills, 

By Tabbyland’s historic towers 
And Pussburgh’s shops and mills, 

By old Purru’s now crumbling walls, 

In ancient days begun, 

And dear Furronia’s fabled halls, 

We pussies every one, 

Do pledge allegiance to the King 
Who rules our glorious land! 

Rise, cats! ( When anthems pussies sing 
It’s customary to stand.) 

\They rise and sing.'] 

Q2 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


93 


CHORUS 

It ’s wrong to be conceited, 

It is n’t right to brag, 

But anyway we ’d like to say 
That here ’s a noble flag ! 

Who honors it is honored, 

Who doesn’t pays the price! 

Salute it, cats! ( They doff their hats.) 

Now cheer it, pussies, thrice! 

Set up a loud mee-owing 
That every one will hear! 

We must not let the world forget 
We love our nation dear! 

O ye that travel and should know 
The wonders of the earth, 

Is there, wherever one may go, 

A place of equal worth? 

Oh, tell us, is there anywhere 
A land as fair as this? 

As full of flowers and country air 
And liberty and bliss? 

There is n’t, any one will grant. 

That has a pair of eyes. 

Up, cats! ( When pussies anthems chant 
It’s customary to rise.) 

CHORUS 

It ’s wrong to be conceited, etc. 

During the singing of the national anthem the windows of 
the palace were thrown open so that every one in Tabbyland 
could hear, and by the time the chorus was reached every one 
for miles and miles around had joined in. Needless to say, it 
thrilled Violet beyond words to hear thousands of pussycats 
singing this stirring patriotic song. 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


94 

“Oh, Prinny, this is so exciting!” she cried. 

“Yes, dear, it is not without its thrill,” said the Princess as 
calmly as ever. 

The ball of the Baron of Milkbowl the following evening 
was a great success. All pussycat royalty came. The Duch- 
ess of Pussburgh was there in a sealskin pelisse lined with five- 
pusseta notes that crackled luxuriously as she walked. She 
wore a sky-blue dress trimmed with orange-blossoms and ger- 
anium buds. Her hat was of purple velvet from which silver 
tassels hung. She looked beautiful enough to be the queen of 
a May party. The duke was dressed in simple evening clothes 
of yellow georgette. His only decoration was a band of crim- 
son ribbon that was stretched, slantwise, across his chest. The 
duke was known as a plain man. 

The Baron of Milkbowl, who was giving the ball, wore 
overalls of lovely green silk with purple polka-dots. The 
shoulder-straps were of golden braid and were fastened by 
diamond buckles. This was the official court dress for barons, 
dukes, and earls in the Province of Milkbowl. Mrs. Milk- 
bowl — that is, the Baroness of Milkbowl — wore an evening 
gown of salmon charmeuse trimmed with Christmas-tree orna- 
ments. The effect was stunning, especially when the electric 
lights inside the ornaments were switched on. 

The King and Queen of course wore ermine robes and dress 
crowns. 

The Princess wore a stylish white satin dress with a long 
train on which the royal coat of arms was painted in seven 
colors. The train was carried by two little pages. 

It is not necessary to describe the other pussycat nobles that 
attended. They were all charmingly dressed and made a beau- 



Louis Katorze, the Court Magician, Performing a Miracle 




THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


96 

tiful picture as they danced the four-step, which was then the 
most popular dance in Tabbyland. 

It was a delightful evening. The King made a speech, 
there were charades, the court elocutionist recited “The Face 
on the Barroom Floor” (a poem that was then very popular in 
Tabbyland), cake and mice-cream were served, and the jester 
sang a new song : 

I often sit and gaze at the throne! 

A lesser cat may look at a King! 

As the King dislikes to be alone 
I often sit and gaze at the throne 
And think how nice it must be to own 
A scepter, a crown, and everything! 

I often sit and gaze at the throne! 

A lesser cat may look at a King! 

Then, as this was a great occasion, Louis Katorze, the court 
magician, announced that he would perform a miracle. What 
excitement there was! What a babble of voices! 

Louis bowed and announced that he would perform the 
“miracle of the laughing shadow,” a brand-new trick. “To 
my right,” said Louis, “is a plain white sheet as you will notice. 
Although you may not think it possible in a few seconds you 
will see on the sheet a laughing shadow.” 

Louis then recited the magic words that he finds it necessary 
to say before he can perform a miracle : 

Skidgy widgy lemon pie 
Rudgy wudgy purple tie 
Hacky wacky spinning tops 
Kippy dippy lollypops! 



Naughty Doggie Dorothy in Prison 







THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


98 

Hardly had he uttered the last word when lo! and behold! 
there on the sheet was the laughing shadow. Every one ap- 
plauded. It was wonderful. 

“Oh, that is marvelous!” cried Violet. 

“Yes,” replied the Princess, “it has its appeal.” 

Louis performed a number of other tricks, and then the King 
read dozens of telegrams of congratulation he had received 
from the mayors of Tabbyland cities on the capture of Doggie 
Dorothy. 

There was some more dancing and then every one went home 
happy, especially as the King stood at the door and said, “Call 
again,” to each guest as he or she departed. Thomas VI was 
famous for his courtesy. 



Doggie Danny Leaving for Dogland with Doggie Dorothy’s Message to King Fido 



CHAPTER XIV 


Bold Dorothy is going to pay 

For being a naughty dog. Some day , 

Dear children , every one that ’ s bad 
' Wishes that he 'd obeyed his dad 
And mother when they wisely said , 

“Behave, you little feather-head !” 

(This is, in case you do not know , 

A moral. You don't like 'em? So!) 

W HEN Doggie Dorothy was brought to the palace 
by the army of knights she was at once dressed in 
prison stripes and placed in a cell in the tower. 
Day and night a pussycat sentry paced up and down in front of 
her cell to see that she did not escape. 

In the morning the keeper of the prison brought her a dog- 
biscuit, in the evening she was thrown a soup-bone. This was 
all the food she was allowed. 

Doggie Dorothy did not like the idea of being in jail. One 
could hardly blame her. It is annoying to be in jail. It inter- 
feres with one’s plans and it is very lonesome. 

All day long Doggie Dorothy paced up and down her cell 
singing in a very sad tone : 

“How can a doggie have affection 
For life inside a jail 4 ? 

I used to have a nice complexion 
And now I ’m growing pale. 

“Why did I scorn my ma’s caresses 
And go with gutter-snipes 4 ? 

I used to wear the nicest dresses 
And now I ’m wearing stripes. 

IOO 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


101 


“Why did I ever start a-messin’ 

With evil anyhow? 

I hope that you will learn a lesson 
From what I’m suffering now!” 

The only one that ever visited poor Doggie Dorothy was 
Doggie Danny who was a porter in the palace. Danny and 
Dorothy had been good friends for years. On one of Danny’s 
visits Dorothy handed him a note when the sentry was n’t 
looking. 

“Hide it!” whispered Dorothy. “Read it later!” 

In his room an hour afterward Danny read the note — that 
is, the notes, for there were two of them. One read : 

Dear Danny : 

It is so lonely in jail ! I cannot stand it much longer! 

Please take this note to Fido IV, King of Dogland. He will order 
King Thomas to set me free at once. 

I know I am asking a great deal, but you are so good a friend I am sure 
you will be glad to help me. 

Please, Danny, do not fail me ! 

Love. 

Dorothy. 

The other note read : 

Fido IV, 

King of the Dogs, Bowwow Palace, Dogland, 

Dear King: 

I suppose you have forgotten me by now, so I will begin by remind- 
ing you that I am the dog you sent to Tabbyland Palace when King 
Thomas VI asked you to send him a good governess for his daughter, 
the Princess Pauline. 

From the day you sent me here I always did my best to please the 
King, the Princess, and the other members of the royal family. One 


102 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


day, tired of life in Tabbyland, I ran away. When I took the job 
you told me I could leave whenever I wanted to. King Thomas sent 
a thousand knights after me and they captured me. I was put in jail 
where I now am. 

I dislike the jail life very much. My cell is so small that I cannot 
wag my tail without striking the wall. Oh, j>lease, dear King, order 
King Thomas to set me free ! 

Your loving subject, 

Doggie Dorothy 

When no one was looking Doggie Danny left the palace by 
the back door and set out for Dogland with Dorothy’s 
message. He had to be very careful. If he had been caught 
leaving the palace without permission he would have been put 
in prison, too. 

In three days Doggie Danny reached Bowwow Palace, Dog- 
land, the home of the great Fido IV, King of the dogs. The 
King was out playing golf, Doggie Danny was informed by 
the door-dog of the palace, but he was expected to return soon. 
“I will wait,” said Danny sitting down. “Please put this note 
on his desk.” 

For fifteen minutes Danny sat and read “The Morning 
Bark,” which he found on the waiting-room table, and then he 
was told that the King had arrived and would see him at once. 

In no time Danny found himself in the beautiful throne- 
room of Dogland Palace. Kneeling before the great King 
Fido he said very humbly, “I thank you, your Noble Highness, 
for letting me in to see you.” 

“And why should n’t I let you see me, pray?” asked the 
King, a handsome big dog, very kindly. “Am I not here to 
serve my people? I have read the message from Doggie 
Dorothy. Her imprisonment is an outrage. I will send a 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


103 

messenger to Tabbyland with a note to King Thomas demand- 
ing that he set her free at once.” 

“Oh, how kind you are, your Highness!” exclaimed Danny. 
“Doggie Dorothy has suffered much.” 

“I am sorry to hear that,” said King Fido. “And surprised 
at King Thomas. I did n’t know he was that kind of cat. 
Some of my best friends are cats but you can’t trust most of 
them. Yes, as a race they ’re no good.” 

“That is what I always say, your Worship,” said Doggie 
Danny. 

King Fido picked up a telephone that rested on the right 
arm of the throne. “Hello, Central!” he said, “give me Aire- 
dale 8900 — no, not Poodle 8500 — Airedale 8900! — yes, that’s 
right — the prime minister. Hello! Is this the prime minis- 
ter? Yes? This is the King. Send a messenger at once to 
Thomas VI, King of Tabbyland, demanding that he set free 
Doggie Dorothy, one of my subjects, who used to be his daugh- 
ter’s governess. She is in prison there. Tell King Thomas I 
will not stand for this nonsense! Yes, I want her set free 
at once ! Good-by.” 

“Oh, how grateful Doggie Dorothy will be!” cried Danny. 

“I am glad to be able to help her,” said Fido IV. “And now 
I will leave you. I have another golf engagement this after- 
noon. You had better remain in Dogland. It would not do 
for you to return to Tabbyland. You would be put in prison 
for bringing Doggie Dorothy’s message to me. Find some- 
thing to do around the palace.” 

“Yes, your Highness,” said Doggie Danny. 

With this the King left the throne-room to keep his appoint- 
ment. 


CHAPTER XV 


Soon comes the cannon's roar 
And whistling rifle-song! 

For , hark! the dogs of war 
Are harking loud and long! 

W HEN King Fido’s messenger arrived at Tabbvland 
Palace he was permitted to see King Thomas at 
once. The King of Tabbvland read the message 
and frowned. Small wonder, for it said — 

King Thomas : 

Doggie Danny has told me you have put Doggie Dorothy in prison. 
How dare you ! Set her free at once ! 

King Fido. 

“Hm,” mused King Thomas with a scowl. “So Doggy 
Danny has turned tattle-tale. Well, that won’t do Dorothy 
any good. She deserted my daughter in a moment of need and 
deserves her punishment.” 

Turning to King Fido’s messenger he said: “You may go. 
I wish to have a talk with the prime minister. I will send my 
answer to-morrow.” 

The messenger departed. 

King Thomas talked the matter over with the prime minister 
and decided to send a knight on a swift horse to Dogland with 
this message : 

King Fido : 

Cannot set Doggie Dorothy free. She has behaved badly and must be 
punished. Sorry. 


104 


King Thomas. 



War Declared on Tabbyland 



io6 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


As the knight left the King said, “Wait for an answer.” 

When King Thomas’s knight reached Dogland Palace with 
his noble master’s message King Fido was furious. “So he 
won’t set her free, eh?” he cried. “I’ll teach him a lesson! 
Boy,” he said to one of his attendants, “tell the prime minister 
to come here at once!” 

When a moment later the prime minister, a smart-looking 
black dog with large spectacles, entered the throne-room, King 
Fido said to him: “The King of Tabbyland has refused to free 
Doggie Dorothy. There is nothing to do but to declare war. 
Do so at once! Give the declaration to this pussycat knight, 
who will take it to his master.” 

“It shall be done,” said the prime minister taking out of his 
coat a book of declaration-of-war blanks that he always carried 
with him. Filling one out he handed it to the knight. 

The knight took it, jumped on his horse, and set out for 
Tabbyland at full speed. 

“And now,” said the prime minister putting his declaration- 
of-war blanks back in his pocket, “is there anything else you 
wish, your Majesty?” 

“No, that is all I can think of right now.” 

“Very well, your Worship,” said the prime minister leaving. 

“Oh — I almost forgot!” said the King. “Tell the secretary 
of war I wish to see him. He ought to know.” 

“Yes, your Highness,” said the prime minister, bowing his 
way out. 

In a few minutes the secretary of war, whistling a military 
march, entered the throne-room. He was a good-natured gray 
dog (battle-ship gray, to be sure) who did not look as though 
the business of making war worried him very much. 

“I ’ve just declared war on Tabbyland,” said the King. 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


107 


‘‘So!” exclaimed the secretary quite surprised. 

“Yes,” said the King, “and let ’s do the thing right. I want 
a regular war this time, like the ones in the movies — with 
aeroplanes, submarines, and everything.” 

“Yes, your Majesty,” said the secretary. 

“I ’m sick and tired of dull wars,” continued the King. 
“Take the one we had with the rabbits four years ago. We 
won of course but it was too tame. There was n’t any air 
fighting and not a single naval battle.” 

“You forget that the rabbits have no navy, your Highness.” 

“Well, you could have lent them a few ships. I ’m very 
fond of naval battles.” 

“Yes, that is so, your Highness. Well, there will be sea 
fighting this time, plenty of it. The cats have an excellent 
navy.” 

“That is fine,” said King Fido. “There is nothing like a 
good naval battle to take one’s mind off business. It is even 
better than golf.” 

“Yes, indeed,” said the secretary of war. 

“Of course, I want some good land battles, too,” said the 
King. “They are interesting too when done right.” 

“How many of each do you wish, your Highness?” asked the 
secretary of war taking out an order pad. 

“Four naval and three land fights,” said the King. “That 
will do nicely for a start.” 

“Very well,” said the secretary of war, making a note of it 
on his pad. “And how many air fights?” 

“Five or six will do,” said the King, “and don’t forget to 
put Airedales in charge of the ’planes. They make the best 
aviators.” 

“Yes, your Highness.” 


io8 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“And see that everything is polished bright,” continued 
King Fido. “Some of the guns used in the war with the rab- 
bits were disgracefully tarnished. What will the people think 
if this sort of thing continues?” 

“I will see that everything is polished, your Highness,” said 
the minister of war. “We are using a new gun-polish now. 
It is the best we have ever had. It is excellent for polishing 
battle-ships and aeroplanes, too. The other day we polished 
the flag-ship with it and it shone so brightly that the crew had 
to put on sun-glasses.” 

“Good!” said the King. “I want this to be a nice war.” 

“Yes, your Highness,” said the secretary. 

“You may now go,” said the King. 

The secretary of war departed. 

A few hours later hundreds of dogs were busy posting signs 
like this throughout Dogland : 

WAR DECLARED 
ON TABBYLAND! 

DOGS, DEFEND 
YOUR COUNTRY! 

(Signed) King Fido IV 

What excitement there was ! Everywhere dogs gathered to 
discuss the startling news. Veterans of the war with the rab- 
bits donned their uniforms and drilled in the public squares. 
Volunteers thronged the recruiting-offices. Every dog in the 
country was thrilled. All day and all night cannons were 
rushed through the streets, army horses galloped by, and battle- 
planes whirred overhead. It was a great day for Dogland. 


CHAPTER XVI 


i 

A pussycat knight on a fiery steed 
(A steed is a charger. I now will proceed.) 
Comes tearing along at a runaway speed 
With a terrible war declaration — 

A message from Fido announcing that he 
Is bringing an army of soldiers to see 
If that will not make ’em set Dorothy free 
And forever respect the dog nation ! 

“Oh, horsie, go faster!” the rider implores; 

“Like heroes let ’s fly to the palace’s doors 
And tell the good King of this latest of wars 
That the people, like Paul, may Revere us !” 
The rider is now at his Highness’s gate 
Where thousands of cats his arrival await, 

And as they start cheering, the rider, elate, 
Says, “Horsie, I knew they would cheer us !” 

ii 

“What is the news?” asks the King. 

“War,” answers the knight. 

“Their cannons will soon go bing /” 

Says the King, “All right.” 

For Thomas was not the kind 
To worry and fret. 

All he said was, “They will find 
Us ready, you bet.” 

109 


no 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


hi 

My ! what excitement when the pussies heard 
That Fido was to march on Tabbyland. 

War ! What a deal of magic in the word ! 

War! Every pussy thought it simply grand. 
For when there is a war the streets are filled 
With soldier pussycats in lovely suits 
And shiny guns ( you also would be thrilled) 
And flashing silver swords and polished boots. 

And pussycats on every corner stand 
A-singing their delightful national air. 

They ’re starting now while plays the royal band 
There is no singing like it anywhere ! 


iv 

By fair Kittonia’s catnip flowers, 
Catlanta’s rocks and hills, 

By Tabbyland’s historic towers 
And Pussburgh’s shops and mills, 

By old Purru’s now crumbling walls, 

In ancient days begun, 

And dear Furronia’s fabled halls, 

We pussies, every one, 

Do pledge allegiance to the King 
Who rules our glorious land ! 

Rise, cats! ( When anthems pussies sing 
It ’s customary to stand.) 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


in 


CHORUS 

It ’s wrong to be conceited, 

It is n’t right to brag, 

But anyway we ’d like to say 
That here ’s a noble flag ! 

Who honors it is honored, 

Who does n’t pays the price ! 

Salute it, cats! (They doff their hats.) 

Now cheer it, pussies, thrice! 

Set up a loud mee-owing 
That every one will hear ! 

We must not let the world forget 
We love our nation dear ! 

v 

Da! ra! da! boom ! da! ra! da! boom ! 

Here come the soldier cats ! Let ’s all make room ! 

Da! ra! da! zing! da! ra! da! zing! 

Let ’s cheer the soldier cats like anything! 

Da! ra! da, ree! da! ra! da! ree! 

The soldiers answer with a loud “Whoopee!” 

vi 

Said Violet as the soldiers passed, 

“They ’re very beautiful.” 

Said the Princess, “Also strong and fast, 

Refined and dutiful.” 


1 12 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


Said Violet next, “Oh, Prinny dear ! 

What nice commanders!” 

Said the Princess, “That is hardly queer, 
They’re Tabby landers!” 

VII 

Said the jester, “Should I break my sword, 
Dear King, I ’ll still combat ’em 

(And this is rather good, my lord) 

By looking daggers at ’em!” 

Said the jolly jester once again, 

“Their army will be lacking 

A couple of thousand bowwows when 
We pussies start cattacking!” 

VIII 

The King unto the general said, 

“Have we sufficient guns?” 

The general, nodding of his head, 

Replied, “We ’ve tons and tons — 

Guns for retreats, my noble Lord, 

And others for attacks. 

Some are in camp and some are stored 
Away in gunny-sacks.” 

The King then asked the naval chief 
If he had ships a-plenty. 

It was the naval man’s belief 
Another score (that ’s twenty) 

Would make the navy hard to beat. 

He’d ordered them, he gloated, 

And by that night, if things went right, 

They ’d be unpacked and floated ! 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


The King then asked, ‘ Have we enough 
Of ammunition, friends?” 

“Yes, we have many a powder-puff 
With which to gain our ends. 

We ’ve jammed the cannon-ball room till 
The very ceiling swells. 

And when the dogs with these we fill 
We’ll shoot some peanut shells!” 

IX 

Ascending then the palace stairs 
The King upraised his paw, 

While all the cats took off their hats 
And gazed at him in awe. 

When he upraised his paw like that 
It was a sign that he 

Had things to say to them and they 
Would hush up instantlee. 

A pin if dropped from seven feet, 

Which is n’t very high, 

Would have been heard (upon my word!) 
That morning in July. 

(If you have no objection to 
July I ’ll let it stay. 

It helps my rhyme a lot and I ’m 
Particular that way.) 

The place was full of silence as 
I said before, I think; 

You could n’t hear a pussy clear 
Her throat, or cough, or blink. 



The Puppy Pop-Gunners 




THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


115 


They were as still as cattle that 
One sees in butcher-shops, 

Stock- still, I mean; you ’ve doubtless seen 
’Em (made up into chops). 

And as they stood stock-still the King 
Declared: “I thank you for 

Your kind attention; I would mention 
A word about the war. 

“It ’s only this : As you depart 
To fight remember that 

Where’er you roam your King back home 
Is thinking of every cat. 

“You ’ll beat King Fido, I am sure, 

But should you find it hard 

To trounce the fool I hope that you ’ll 
Send me a postal-card. 

“And I will join you on my horse 
And bring my kin and kith 

And show ’em that I ’m not a cat 
That they can trifle with. 

“Meanwhile within the palace gates 
Or on the royal farm 

I think I ’ll stay and night and day 
Protect the Queen from harm!” 

“Bravo!” the pussycats replied, 

“For our most noble King!” 

They cheered him for an hour or more, 

A very natural thing. 


CHAPTER XVII 


My spine was a- tingle and my heart beat fast 
When the bowwow army went a-swinging past ! 

I was so excited that I bit my nails 
( Though that is a thing that hardly ever fails 
To earn me a spanking from my stern old dad). 

But when there ’s excitement I am pretty bad 
And off came my finger-nails one at a time , 

And to keep from being spanked I lent a dime 
For to buy ten others in a hardware-store 
(They sold for a penny each before the war). 

My spine was a-tingle and my heart beat fast 
When the bowwow army went a-swinging past! 

M EANWHILE King Fido’s army of dogs advanced 
on Tabbyland. Banners flying and bands play- 
ing, they swung down Poodle Place which con- 
nects with Nellie Highway, the road to distant Tabbyland. 
As they passed Mastiff Terrace, one of the busiest streets in 
Dogland, they were cheered by thousands of patriotic dogs. 

What a sight it was! From every window in sight dogs 
leaned to see the passing army. Those that were n’t lucky 
enough to live along the line of march and have windows to 
look out of (or roofs to look off) crowded the sidewalk. And 
those that could n’t find room on the sidewalk scrambled up 
lamp-posts and telegraph-poles. Dogs usually cannot climb 
but in the excitement of the moment, it seems, they acquired 
the knack. 

116 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


117 

What excitement there was! Puppy-dogs returning from 
school dropped their books and gave their school cries. A group 
from the Spaniel Academy burst forth with : 

“You can do it ! 

Show ’em how ! 

Dogland ! Dogland ! 

Bow! wow! wow!” 

The Pointer Prep School broke in with: 

“We will teach ’em 
Ere we ’re through 

What we fighting 
Dogs can do!” 

But the loudest cheering of all was done by the Collie Col- 
lege Boys, who gave the yell that had been used for years at 
the annual Dogland-Tabbyland foot-ball game: 

“We will show those 
Silly cats! 

Watch us go and 
Give ’em rats !” 

“Don’t give ’em rats!” cried King Fido’s jester — a merry 
foxy-terrier — that happened to be standing near-by. “They 
like ’em!” 

The crowd roared with laughter. 

“What shall we shout then?” asked the jolly cheer-leader 
of the Collie College Boys. 

“This!” replied the jester: 

“Cats, beware! 

There soon will be 

A very sad 
Gz/astrophe !” 


1 18 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


The crowd again enjoyed a hearty laugh. Every one was 
in high spirits (especially the dogs on the roofs, telegraph- 
poles, and lamp-posts). 

King Fido led the line of march. How they cheered him! 
He was mounted on a beautiful white horse with a pink tail. 
His uniform was of cloth of gold, with narrow stripes of 
silver braid along the sides of the trousers. On his left sleeve 
a dog-biscuit was embroidered in violet silk. He wore a three 
pointed hat of snow-white duck, in the right side of which a 
feather was stuck. Perhaps it was a duck-feather, too. At 
any rate the King had a feather in his cap. 

(King Fido was the only one that was permitted to wear a 
feather in his cap. It was a sign of his rank, that of general- 
general — which was much higher than the rank of corporal- 
general, private-general, sergeant-general, major-general, lieu- 
tenant-general, general-manager, brigadier-general, and the 
other kinds of generals in the army.) 

Next in the line of march were the Dachshund Doughboys. 
The dachshund, as you probably know, is a dog with a long 
plump body that sometimes scrapes the ground. Dachshunds 
that can afford the expense wear protectors to keep from wear- 
ing their stomachs off. 

The dachshund is a valuable dog in war-time. His body is 
so long that he can have his head in enemy territory and the 
rest of him in his own, meanwhile signaling his findings to his 
comrades with his tail. 

The Dachshund Doughboys were clad in simple military 
tweeds. They were armed with folding swords. The dachs- 
hund is built so close to the ground that he cannot carry the 
usual full-length sword; it would scrape the ground. 

Next came the ocean soldiers or Water Spaniels. As most 



Brave Rudolph Flying over the Dogland Lines 






120 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


of their work is done in water they wore bathing-suits and 
carried rubber guns. Their principal task was to swim under 
battle-ships and sink ’em by shooting the bottoms full of holes. 
This was dangerous work. There was always the possibility 
of a battle-ship that you had plugged full of holes falling on 
you. But the brave ocean soldiers did not mind this. They 
were fighting for home and country. 

Next came the Pomeranian Rangers. They were clad in 
uniforms of lavender lace covered with orange spangles. On 
their white silk taffeta caps there were yellow pom-poms, the 
trade-mark of their native Pomerania. 

Then followed the Firemen’s Firing-Squad, a regiment of 
black-and-white spotted fire-house dogs. They wore red flan- 
nel uniforms, rubber boots and hose, and firemen’s hats. They 
were armed with water-buckets and axes. 

Next in line were the Mexican Hairless Harriers. They 
wore bushy red wigs to keep them warm. This was only one 
of the reasons why they belonged to the wigwag, or signal- 
squad (the same regiment the Dachshund Doughboys belonged 
to) . The other reason was that they were expert wag- 
gers — tail waggers, of course. This was very important in 
sending signals. What with wigging and wagging these dogs 
made ideal wigwaggers. They rode in wigwagons which were 
full of signal-books and extra wigs. 

And then there were the brass bands, seventeen of them, 
the musicians gaily clad and all carrying instruments that shone 
beautifully. And dozens of other regiments — the Fighting 
Irish Terriers, the Great Dane Grenadiers, the Yankee Poodle 
Dandies, the Collie Cannoneers, the Woofy Wolfhounds, the 
Airedale Airboys, the Puppy Popgunners (or infantry), the 
Peekin’-knees Kilties, and other famous Dogland warriors. 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


121 


After marching for three days and three nights, King Fido’s 
forces were within ten miles of the Tabbyland border. In a 
few hours they would be in the outskirts of Kittonia where 
thousands of King Thomas’s pussycat soldiers were waiting to 
engage them in battle. As they neared Kittonia a Tabbyland 
battle-plane, commanded by the wonderful Rudolph, who in 
times of peace was the pilot of King Thomas’s balloon, flew 
over them. 

“Fire!” cried the commander of the Collie Cannoneers and 
the Puppy Popgunners as they spied Rudolph overhead. 

“Bing!” spoke the guns of the Cannoneers and the Pop- 
gunners. Their shots went wild. 

“Bang!” replied the gun of the battle-plane. Rudolph’s 
shot knocked the pom-pom off the cap of one of the Pomeran- 
ian Rangers. 

“Ha! ha!” laughed Rudolph. 

“I ’ll ‘ha! ha!’ you!” cried the angry Ranger. With this he 
leveled his gun at the ’plane but Rudolph, seeing him aim, 
flew higher and the shot fell short. 

Rudolph then descended several hundred feet to take an- 
other shot. Ambitious cat that he was, this time he aimed at 
King Fido. His aim was true but the wind carried the shot 
wide and all he managed to do was to hit the feather in the 
King’s cap and shoot a few inches off it. 

“A plague on the cat!” howled the King. “Fire away, 
everybody!” 

What a roar there was as every gun in the Dogland forces 
blazed away at the flying Rudolph! Expecting their fire he 
started to fly higher again, but this time he was not quick 
enough and one of the shots crashed through the wings of the 


122 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


’plane. The ’plane began to drop, but just as the dogs thought 
it was falling to earth and began to rejoice, the quick-witted 
Rudolph mixed some cement in a hurry and patched the holes 
in the wings. This done, he flew higher and higher until he 
was lost from sight in the clouds, and then putting on all speed 
flew in the direction of Kittonia to notify the Tabbyland forces 
of the approach of King Fido. 


CHAPTER XVIII 


i 

Within a mile of old Kittonia Town 
King Fido told his troops to halt 
And putting on his favorite battle-crown 
Cried, “Dogs, prepare for an assault!” 

They gathered round him as he made his speech 
Bolt upright on his milk-white steed. 

“We ’re here, O dogs!” he shouted, “for to teach 
Those cats they ’ve done a cruel deed ! 

“We ’re here to march on Tabbyland and save 
Poor Dorothy from prison walls; 

To send King Thomas to a villain’s grave 
By shooting till the palace falls. 

“Here stand we now near old Kittonia Camp 
Where tabby regiments are massed, 

And others (I can hear the tramp ! tramp l tramp!') 
March up to join their army vast. 

“We must have courage if we hope to win. 

Those cats can fight, make no mistake. 

Shout ‘Ready !’ when you ’re ready to begin 
And shout it till the heavens shake!” 

“Ready!” a hundred thousand bowwows roared. 

(That was my count and I ’m no dunce.) 

“Then load each rifle and unsheathe each sword 
And on to Tabbyland at once!” 

123 


124 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


ii 

De-room ! de-room! de-room ! boom! boom ! 

De-room! de-room! de-room! boom! boom! 

Their drums de-roomed like that until 
The Dogland soldiers reached Kittonia Hill. 

De-room! de-room! de-room! boom! boom! 

De-room! de-room! de-room! boom! boom ! 

On top there stood a fortress large. 

“Stop that de-rooming!” Fido ordered. “Charge 

iii 

And up the hill they ran 
A hundred thousand strong. 

While tabby guns began 
To sing their cruel song! 

Bing! bang! bing! bang! bing! bang! 

Boom! boom! boom! boom! boom! boom! 

A thousand cannons sang 
A thousand doggies’ doom ! 

(But since good doggies go 
To heaven, a lovely place, 

I hope no tears will flow 
Down anybody’s face. 

(Besides as there were tons 
Of bowwow soldiers left 

They hardly missed the ones 
Of whom they were bereft.) 

Up stormed King Fido’s force 
As quickly as they could 

While Fido on his horse 
Cried, “That is very good !” 






126 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


Up, up they stormed until 
They neared the tabby fort 
Atop Kittonia Hill 

Where nobles of the court 

Of Tabbyland implored 
The cats to hurl ’em back 
With cannon and with sword 
And poison gas attack ! 

“Fight, cats !” the nobles cried, 

“The dogs are gaining ground. 

Put twenty shots inside 

Each foolish-looking hound!” 

The cats kept firing but 

The dogs kept coming still. 
There seemed no way to shut 
Them from Kittonia Hill. 

“Cats!” begged their leaders, “fight! 
For if the battle ’s lost 
Dear Tabbyland to-night 

By bowwows will be bossed !” 

The pussies did their best 
But still the dogs advanced, 

And soon upon the crest 

King Fido’s charger pranced ! 

“Phew ! that was hard work, men,” 
Said Fido as he stood 
Atop Kittonia. Then 
He added, “Very good !” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


127 


(And “Very good !” as now 
You know, was Fido’s way 
Of saying “Great!” or “Wow!” 
Or “Splendid!” or “Hooray!”) 

“I ’ll ‘very good’ you !” cried 
The leader of the cats 
And let a bullet ride 

That mussed the ruler’s spats. 

“Ha ! ha !” King Fido roared, 
“When I am in a spat 
My spats I can afford 
To soil, you silly cat !” 

Then to his soldiers, “Take 
That fortress straight ahead!” 

“Where to*?” his jester spake. 
“Wherever you please !” he said. 

And Fido’s army dashed 

To where the fortress stood, 
And as the walls they smashed 
The King said, “Very good !” 

And as the fortress fell 
The cats in terror fled, 

That is, as you know well. 

The ones that were n’t dead. 

(But since good pussies go 
To heaven, a lovely place, 

I hope no tears will flow 
Down anybody’s face.) 


128 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


The king selected men 
(Or doggies, if you like) 

To hold the fort and then 
Said, “Soldiers, let us hike ! 

“Let ’s hike to Main Street where 
We ’ll smash the palace gate 
And pull the royal chair 

From under Tom the Great!” 

Through old Kittonia Street 
They marched, and on the way 
Robbed butchers and then beat 
Them if they asked for pay. 

There was n’t a butcher-shop 
In town that was n’t robbed ; 

When scolded by a cop 

They spanked him till he sobbed. 

They burned the city hall 
(The only one in town), 

Stole a poor pussy’s shawl, 

And cut all clothes-lines down. 

The King said, “When they see 
How things we burn and break 
They ’ll set poor Dotty free 
And that is no mistake.” 

And as, mile after mile, 

They smashed whate’er they could, 
King Fido with a smile 

Said, “Soldiers, very good!” 



Before the Tabbyland Camp. Waiting for the Dogland Advance 




CHAPTER XIX 


Hark to the trumpet and the drum ! 

On, on the Do gland soldiers cornel 

Or, if that's faulty grammar, lo! 

On, on the Dogland soldiers go! 

“Go,” “come” — it 's all the same to me 
If that the poem's point you see. 

Which is to say the bowwows moved 

With speed (of which their King approved). 

T HE army of King Fido swept through Tabbyland. 

They burned houses, destroyed catnip fields, cut 
down clothes-lines, broke shop windows, wrecked 
trolley-cars, captured mice-cream men and dumped their mice- 
cream into the streets, blew up bridges, cut telephone wires, 
took lollypops away from pussycat children, ripped up rail- 
road tracks, tore down the statue of Thomas VI that had stood 
for years in the market-place, and did whatever other damage 
they happened to think of. 

As his soldiers marched along and wrecked everything in 
sight, King Fido, as was his habit, smiled and simply said, 
“Very good.” 

D e-room! de-room! de-room ! boom! boom! 

De-room ! de-room ! de-room ! boom! boom ! 

The drums de-roomed like that again, 

While fearless Fido led his fighting men. 



The S.S. Princess Pauline, Flagship of the Tabbyland Navy 




The Fuzzy-Wuzzy Cannon-Bailers Aiming at King Thomas 



THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


133 

They were now within a mile of Tabbyland Palace. Not 
a single pussycat soldier could be seen anywhere. 

“This is funny/’ said King Fido to one of his generals. “Do 
you think they have given up so soon*?” 

“I don’t think so,” said the general. 

“Then where are King Thomas’s soldiers?” asked King 
Fido. “I feel like another battle. There is no sense in hav- 
ing a war unless you spend the time fighting.” 

“I believe,” said the general, “that King Thomas, seeing 
that he could not stop us at Kittonia, has massed his soldiers 
before the palace. In a little while we will reach the palace 
grounds and I think we will meet the Tabbyland army there.” 

“Good,” said King Fido, “I want to try out my new sword.” 

De-room! de-room ! de-room ! boom! boom! 

De-room! de-room! de-room! boom! boom! 

The drummers pounded more and more, 

De-rooming is a part of every war. 

De-room! de-room ! — 

“Shush!” suddenly shushed King Fido who was looking 
through his field-glasses. I see the Tabbyland army before 
the King’s palace. I can see their swords and rifles flashing.” 

Then standing bolt upright on his milk-white steed, as was 
his custom in moments of excitement, he said to his soldiers: 
“We have a fight on our paws. Every cat in Tabbyland that 
can carry a gun is waiting for us less than a mile ahead. There 
is little I can say. We are fighting for home and country. We 
are here to teach King Thomas that he cannot treat our peo- 
ple as he is treating Doggie Dorothy. He must set her free. 
Are you ready, soldiers?” 

“Ready!” they cried. 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


134 

“Very good!” declared King Fido. Then to his milk-white 
steed, “Giddap!” 

In a few minutes they were within a quarter of a mile of 
Tabbyland Palace. “Charge!” cried King Fido. As they 
charged, the pussycat soldiers of Thomas VI ran to meet them. 

“Teach them a good lesson!” cried the Princess Pauline who 
was standing at the gates of the palace with Violet. 

“Yes, do defeat them!” exclaimed Violet. “They are very 
naughty dogs.” 

Soon the brave forces of Thomas VI and Fido IV were at 
each other’s throats. They fought like cats and dogs, one 
might say. Cannons roared and swords clashed. Soldiers 
fell. Some picked themselves up. Some did n’t. 

The Dogland soldiers were having a much harder time of it 
than they had had at Kittonia Hill. There they outnumbered 
the cats. Here they were outnumbered. 

It addition the pussycat battle-ships, led by the S. S. Prin- 
cess Pauline, flag-ship of the Tabbyland navy, stood in Tabby- 
land Harbor a half-mile away and fired hundreds of cannon- 
balls into the Dogland forces. 

The Dogland battle-ships were not present to prevent this. 
They were at the bottom of Tabbyland Harbor. The pussy- 
cat battle-ships had sent them there only an hour before. 

(But since good doggies go 
To heaven, a lovely place, 

I hope no tears will flow 
Down anybody’s face.) 

The dogs fought bravely but could not gain an inch. But 
they did a great deal of damage to the palace and near-by 
houses. And not only houses were damaged. The Fuzzy- 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


135 

wuzzy Cannon-bailers, a famous Dogland regiment, seeing 
King Thomas on the roof of the palace shouting encourage- 
ment to his soldiers through a megaphone, aimed at him and 
shot the megaphone to pieces. It was a beautiful megaphone, 
made of solid gold (except the opening, which was hollow) and 
easily worth 1650 pussetas, if not 1725. 

“Ha! ha!” laughed King Fido when this happened. 

“I ’ll ‘ha! ha!’ you!” cried King Thomas angrily. 

“You’re a fine king!” sneered the Dogland ruler. “Why 
don’t you lead your soldiers instead of staying in the palace 
where it’s safe?” 

“I’m minding the Queen, that’s why, Mr. Smarty!” re- 
torted King Thomas. “It is my duty.” 

“Ho! ho!” roared King Fido, “that’s a good one. Why 
don’t you let some soldiers mind her and come on down here 
and fight.” 

“I will be down presently,” said King Thomas. “My uni- 
form is being pressed. I can’t very well fight in these Sunday 
clothes.” (King Thomas always went to battle in the uni- 
form of the Royal Kafoozalums — a plain suit of black and 
white striped China silk.) 

“Well, when your suit is pressed and you ’re ready to fight 
you’ll find me on the porch of the palace waiting for you!” 
cried King Fido. 

“You’ll never get that far!” replied King Thomas. 
“You ’ll have your head shot off first.” 

“I will, eh?” said King Fido. “Maybe you ’ll lose yours 
first. Take a shot at it, soldiers!” 

With this the Fuzzy-wuzzy Cannon-bailers sent a hundred 
shots at King Thomas. If the King had n’t ducked behind a 
chimney he would not have had a head to put his crown on. 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


36 

King Thomas decided that the roof of the palace was no 
lace for him and went downstairs to see if his suit was pressed. 

For hours the pussycat and bowwow armies fought. The 
ogs, no matter how hard they tried, could not gain. They 

^uld have had a better chance if they had taken more bullets 

th them. As a cat has nine lives it took nine bullets to kill 
"abbyland soldier. 

(But since good pussies go 
To heaven, a lovely place, 

I hope no tears will flow 
Down anybody’s face.) 

As the ternoon wore on, the dogs saw they could not win 
unless captured some of the pussycats’ bullets. King 
Fido s dozen brave dogs and ordered them to sneak 

up behn 1 lie Tabbyland lines in a supply-wagon and bring 
back a load of bullets. “We can’t hold out much longer,” he 
told them, “unless we get some more bullets. Go!” The 
faithful soldiers bowed and left to carry out the King’s wishes. 

The supply-wagon, bearing the dozen dogs, managed to 
get inside the Tabbyland lines and were within a few steps of 
the pussycat bullet heap when the Princess Pauline, who was 
standing near-by with Violet, noticed them and let out a loud 
“Mee-ow!” 

“Seize her, soldiers!” cried the leader of the faithful dozen. 
“And keep her quiet!” 

“Mee-ow!” howled the Princess as the Dogland soldiers 
seized her. “Mee-ow! mee-ow! mee-ow!” 

These “mee-ows,” even louder than the famous ones the 
Princess delivered on Violet’s back fence, saved Tabbyland. 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


137 

For pussycat soldiers came running from all directions and the 
twelve Doglanders, who had started to load the supply-wagon, 
had to stop their work and run for their lives. If the Princess 
had not noticed them and given the Tabbyland soldiers warn- 
ing the dogs might have loaded the wagon with enough 
bullets to shoot all Tabbyland to pieces. 

Angry at the Princess because she had ruined their plans 
the Dogland soldiers seized her and threw her into the wagon. 
In a second the twelve soldiers were in the wagon too, and 
whipping up the horses they were soon driving like mad for the 
Dogland lines while hundreds of angry pussycats ran after 
them and shook their paws at them. The pussycats did not 
dare fire because they knew the Princess was in the wagon and 
they were afraid of hitting her. 

The supply-wagon, with the captured Princess, returned in 
safety to the Dogland lines. 

"to bm 



The Princess Pauline a Prisoner 







CHAPTER XX 


Having to do with trousers creases, 
A duel, and a war that ceases. 


K ING Fido met the returning supply-wagon as it 
reached the Dogland lines. 

“Well,” he asked the leader of the dozen dogs, 
“how many bullets did you bring back?” 

“N-none, your Majesty,” faltered the unhappy bowwow, 
“but — ” 


“Very bad!” growled the King. “Very bad!” 

“But we brought back King Thomas’s daughter, the Prin- 
cess Pauline. She gave the alarm just as we were about to 
make off with a heap of bullets. This made us so angry that 
we captured her. Here she is in the wagon.” 

“Very good!” exclaimed the King. “Very good! Tie her 
to a tree and have a soldier guard her day and night. We will 
hold her until King Thomas sets Doggie Dorothy free.” 

“My father will punish you for this!” cried the Princess 
Pauline. 

“Will he, though?” said the King of the dogs with a laugh. 
“Why doesn’t he come out and fight like a man? A few 
hours ago I saw him on the roof of the palace. He said he 
would be down soon. Where is he? I think, my pretty one, 
he is afraid.” 

“My father is not afraid!” exclaimed the Princess. “He is 
having his uniform pressed.” 


139 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


140 

“Ho! ho!” laughed the King. “I heard that before. How 
long does it take to press a uniform in Tabbyland?” 

“My father likes to have the creases in his trousers just so,” 
replied the Princess. “If I were you I would n’t be so quick 
to laugh at others. The least a King can do is to look neat on 
the battle-field. I don’t see any creases in your trousers.” 

“I ’ve been riding on a horse all day, if you please,” re- 
plied King Fido. “That, as you know, takes the creases out.” 

“I knew you ’d have an excuse,” said the Princess. 

“Wait till I get hold of your old man — beg pardon, I mean 
your father. The creases in his trousers won’t last very long. 
With the first stroke of my sword he ’ll be on his knees pray- 
ing. That will remove the creases.” 

“Are n’t you bold when no one is around, King Fido!” 

“Take her away, soldiers!” cried King Fido. “Tie her to a 
tree at once! Let her brave father come and rescue her!” 

Three Dogland soldiers escorted the Princess Pauline to a 
near-by tree. They soon fastened her to it, running the rope 
around her six times. 

“You are ruining my dress!” cried the Princess. “I want 
to wear it at a tea in the Palace to-morrow.” 

“You are n’t going to any teas for a long time,” said one of 
the soldiers. 

“So you think you’re going to keep me here, do you?” 
snapped the Princess. “Well, you ’re greatly mistaken.” 

“That may be but in the meantime you are our guest.” 

When the soldiers had fastened the Princess securely, a guard 
— a stern little Puppy Popgunner — was ordered to stand near- 
by and watch her day and night. 

Meanwhile the Dogland and Tabbyland armies continued 
to fight like cats and dogs. 



Field Hospital in the Dogland Camp 




THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


142 

King Thomas, to show that he was not afraid, came out of 
the palace toward evening to lead his forces. He was dressed 
in his newly-pressed uniform, a battle crown of dull gold (not 
unlike the Princess’s traveling crown), and an ermine cape to 
keep the draft off his back. “Bravo!” his soldiers cried when 
they noticed him. “Bravo!” 

The King took his crown off in acknowledgment of the 
cheers and proceeded to march to the head of his army. As he 
passed through the lines he spoke to wounded soldiers that lay 
in cots in a kind of field-hospital that had been rigged up in a 
hurry by the Tabbyland generals. 

Stopping to pat on the back a poor suffering cat that had lost 
three of his nine lives the King said, “You are a brave boy. 
You have lost 33 i per cent, of your lives in the service of your 
country. With all my heart I hope the 66§ per cent, of you 
that remains will live to a ripe old age. You will receive a 
pension, a pair of crutches, and a medal. There, there, my 
boy, rest easy and don’t worry. Everything will come out 
right in the end. Have you a mother?” 

“Y-yes,” stammered the wounded soldier, overcome by the 
King’s kindness. Then he added : “How — how g-good of you 
to talk to me, your highness. To me — a mere soldier in the 
ranks. Oh, how very, very good!” 

“Not at all,” said the King, “that is what I am here for. 
You have a mother, you say. Good. I will send her a basket 
of groceries to-morrow.” 

“Oh, thank you, your Highness.” 

“Don’t mention it, my boy. How are the meals?” 

“Fine, your Majesty!” 

“I ’m glad of that, my boy. Well, I must be going. Good- 
by. And don’t worry, my boy!” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


143 


“Good-by, your Noble Highness !” 

The King on his way to the front ranks comforted many 
another wounded soldier. He was indeed a noble King. 

Soon the King reached the front-line trenches. Here Gen- 
eral Katzenheimer, one of the leading generals of Tabbyland, 
greeted him with a bow and a salute. 

“How goes the battle, general*?” asked the King. 

“Very well, your Highness. The dogs have run short of 
bullets and will have to give up soon.” 

“That is good news,” said the King. “Have they as many 
wounded as we have*?” 

“Have they*?” exclaimed the general. “You bet they have! 
Three times as many ! They have had to rig up more than ten 
field-hospitals. Here, your Majesty, are my field-glasses. If 
you will look straight ahead you will see the largest of them. 
More than a thousand wounded bowwows lie there.” 

“Sure enough!” said the King looking through the glasses. 
“I can see hundreds of beds in the meadow back of their lines. 
At one of them a bowwow doctor is attending a dog with a ban- 
dage over his eye. That ’s one dog that won’t do any damage 
for a while.” 

“He ’s not the only one, your Majesty,” said the general 
smiling. 

“That’s fine, General, fine!” exclaimed the King shaking 
the general’s paw. Then with a laugh, “You seem to be get- 
ting along very nicely without me.” 

“Oh, don’t say that, your Worship,” said the general. “Your 
presence on the fighting front means a good deal to all of us. 
One look at you, your Noble Highness, and we cheefully rush 
out to face the fiercest fire. I might put that a little better. 




THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


H5 

Your presence cheers us, I should say. You comfort us by 
just being here, you — ” 

“I know what you mean,” said the King with an understand- 
ing nod; “I inspire you.” 

“That ’s it exactly,” said the general. 

“Well, then, I ’ll stay,” said the King smiling broadly. 

“Do, your Highness, do! Would you like a seat in the 
front-line benches or will you stand?” 

“I think I ’ll stand,” said the King. “This is a pretty good 
view. Would you mind ordering a little more shell-fire, gen- 
eral? It ’s getting rather tame.” 

“Certainly, your Highness,” said the general, “certainly!” 
The general carried out King Thomas’s wishes and a deafening 
roar resulted. “That is much better, General,” said the King, 
“much better. You must have bumped off quite a few that 
time.” 

While the King stood watching the battle a pussycat mes- 
senger rushed up and, trembling with excitement, cried: 
“They ’ ve captured the Princess ! They ’ve captured the Prin- 
cess ! Oh, what ’s to be done?” 

“What!” exclaimed the King. “They captured the Prin- 
cess?” 

“Yes, your Worship, an hour ago. And King Fido says we 
can’t have her back until we return Doggie Dorothy.” 

“He does, does he? Boy, get me my sword.” 

“There it is by your side, your Majesty.” 

“Don’t I know that, fool? Take it out of the sheath and 
hand it to me !” 

The messenger did as the King requested. 

Waving his sword fiercely King Thomas turned toward the 
Dogland lines and cried at the top of his lungs: “Hi, there, 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


146 

King Fido! You that captured my daughter! You wanted 
to fight before! Come on out and fight!” 

No answer. King Thomas’s voice was drowned in the roar 
of his own guns. 

“General,” ordered the King, “stop the gun-fire for a mo- 
ment.” 

The order was carried out. 

“Hi, there, King Fido!” shouted King Thomas again. “I 
challenge you to a duel. Come on out and fight!” 

This time King Fido heard. “Are your pants pressed?” he 
cried. 

“Never mind that,” snapped King Thomas. “Come on out 
and fight!” 

“Where do you want to fight?” 

“There ’s an empty lot next to the battle-field. Meet me 
there in five minutes.” 

“Very well.” 


Five minutes later King Thomas and King Fido met in the 
empty lot next to the battle-field. 

“So you’ re King Thomas?” said King Fido. 

“Yes,” said King Thomas. “And you ’re King Fido, I be- 
lieve?” 

“Yes. I don’t like you, King Thomas.” 

“And I don’t like you, King Fido.” 

“Let ’s fight it out.” 

“Let ’s.” 

In a second they were lunging at each other with their swords. 
Whether the reason was that their aim was poor or that they 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


147 

both knew how to run away in time, I don’t know, but the fact 
of the matter is that after poking their swords at each other 
for three hours neither of the kings succeeded in sticking a hole 
in the other. 

“My paw is getting tired,” said King Thomas after a while. 

“So is mine,” said King Fido. 

“Let ’s rest our right paws and fight with the left for a 
while,” said King Thomas. 

“That ’s a good idea,” said King Fido. 

So they changed their swords from the right to the left paw. 

After they had fought this way for three hours more without 
denting each other, King Thomas said, “Phew! This is hard 
work.” 

“It is that, Tom.” 

“You called me Tom, Fido.” 

“And you called me Fido, Tom.” 

“I ’m beginning to like you, Fido. Honest.” 

“I don’t think you ’re a bad fellow either, Tom.” 

“I ’ll tell you what, Fido. Let ’s end this darned war. I ’ve 
got an appointment to play cards to-morrow night with some 
old friends and if the war is n’t over by then I won’t be able 
to attend.” 

“And I ’ve a bowling-match to play to-morrow afternoon 
in the royal alleys. I ’ll tell you what, Tom. If you ’ll let 
Doggie Dorothy out, I ’ll free the Princess.” 

“That ’s a go, Fido, if you ’ll repair the damage your sol- 
diers have done.” King Fido smiled and said, “Of course!” 

They dropped their swords and shook paws. 

“Let ’s go back and tell ’em to stop fighting, Tom.” 

“Yes, let ’s do that at once, Fido.” 

At the battle-field they separated. As King Fido disap- 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


148 

peared into the Dogland lines he shouted to King Thomas, 
“Good luck to you at cards to-morrow, Tom.” 

“Thanks, Fido, but I’m so tired from swinging that old 
sword I won’t be able to lift a card.” 

“Then what chance have I to lift a bowling ball?” King 
Fido said with a laugh as he faded from sight. 

In a few minutes the firing ceased. 



Poor Lucy Softfurr Whom the Princess Befriends 


CHAPTER XXI 


Tells how the Princess, free once more. 

Forgets the horrors of the war. 

And calls on needy cats to see 
What they would like their gifts to be 
On Christmas Day, now near at hand. 

(I wish I lived in Tabbyland 
And yearly could present a list 
Of things my presents should consist 
Of, when on Christmas I go through 
My roomy stocking. It is true 
hast Christmas I received a pen — 

A very handsome one — but when 
I finish with this lengthy tale 
I 'm certain that its health will fail. 

Worn down to nothing it will be 
Of hardly any use to me 
And if I am to write again 
I ’ll have to have another pen. 

I cannot always ask my brother 
For his, I ’ ve got to have another ! 

And blotters — I prefer them pink — 

A red eraser, and some ink.) 

Were I in Tabbyland — ah, me ! — 

The Princess would bestow them free! 

S OON after the firing ceased Doggie Dorothy was let out 
of the prison tower by King Thomas and the Princess 
Pauline was set free by King Fido. 

“Oh, this is wonderful!” cried Doggie Dorothy. “It feels 
fine to be out again.” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 151 

She met the Princess who was returning from the Dogland 
camp. 

“I am so sorry, your Majesty,” said Doggie Dorothy, “that 
I was so naughty. Will you forgive me and let me work for 
you again?” 

“I really oughtn’t to,” said the Princess, “but Christmas is 
coming and I don’t like to see any one out of work at such a 
time. I will give you your position back as a Christmas pres- 
ent.” 

“Oh, you are so kind, your Majesty!” asserted Doggie 
Dorothy kneeling before the Princess. “I ’ll never do a naughty 
thing again.” 

“An excellent idea,” said the Princess, “you may go.” 

“Oh, Prinny! I am so glad to see you again!” exclaimed 
Violet joyously when she and the Princess met in the palace an 
hour later. “Oh, how I cried and cried when they captured 
you ! How happy you must be to be back again !” 

“Yes, dear,” said the Princess as calmly as ever. “It is 
not at all unpleasant to be in the palace again. They had me 
tied to a tree with rope and it was rather annoying.” 

“It must have been!” said Violet. “But you saved the 
day, Prinny! I heard the King say that if you hadn’t mee- 
owed so loudly when the Dogland soldiers sneaked into our 
lines with the supply-wagon they would have stolen a load of 
bullets and might have won the war ! Every one in Tabbyland 
is cheering you to-night!” 

“Indeed!” exclaimed the Princess mildly surprised. “I can 
hardly blame them; though, of course, I didn’t win the war 
single-handed. They should cheer some of the others, too.” 

“They are, Prinny, but you most of all.” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


152 

“I am glad they are remembering the others, too, Violet. But 
let us forget the war, dear. Christmas will be here in a few 
days. Let us make our plans for the holidays.” 

“I think I ’d better write mother and father and ask if I 
may stay for Christmas.” 

“I ’m sure they will not mind, Violet. I will send Rudolph 
to tell them you are well and to say that we have asked you to 
spend Christmas with us. They will understand, I am sure.” 

“That will be lovely, Prinny!” 

“And I will send them some Christmas presents, Violet — 
something from each member of the royal family.” 

“Oh, Prinny, dear! How good you are!” 

“Not at all,” said the Princess. 

Two days before Christmas the Princess and Violet visited 
the homes of hundreds of poor pussycats in Tabbyland. The 
Princess made a list of the things they needed. She did this 
every year and then gave the list to the Tabbyland Santa who 
lived in a little house atop a snow-covered mountain. 

As they drove through the streets of Tabbyland in the royal 
sled (it had snowed that day) they noticed many raggedy little 
cats wistfully gazing at the toys in shop windows. The Prin- 
cess would order the sled stopped and take the names and ad- 
dresses of the poor cats to give to Santa Claus. 

At one of these shop windows the Princess noticed the most 
raggedy little pussy she had even seen. 

“Poor little pussy!” said Violet as the royal sled stopped 
near this shop, “her dress is all torn and she seems so unhappy!” 

“Little pussy!” called the Princess from the sled. “Will 
you come over, please.” 

The poor little pussycat hobbled over. She was so hungry 
that she could hardly walk. 



The Tabbyland Santa Claus 



THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


154 

“Will you let me have your name and address?” asked the 
Princess. “I wish to send you a Christmas present.” 

“The Princess!” exclaimed the raggedy cat in astonishment. 

“Don’t give a thought to my rank, dear pussy,” said the 
Princess kindly. “Give me your name and address, please.” 

“Lucy Softfurr,” said the pussy. “I live at 17 Padded- 
paw Place near the Milky Highway.” 

“Very well, Lucy,” said the Princess. “You will receive 
a lovely present — a basket of groceries.” 

“The second in a week!” cried the now happy little pussy. 
“How good the royal family is.” 

“I don’t understand,” said the Princess. 

“My brother, who was in the war, lost three of his lives and 
was taken to a field-hospital. There he was visited one day 
by the King. The King cheered him up and sent my mother a 
basket of groceries. And we needed them so badly! How 
good you and the King are, your Highness!” 

“So your family is in want? I will send three baskets of 
groceries — no, seven baskets.” 

“Oh, how very, very kind you are!” exclaimed the raggedy 
pussy clapping her paws. 

“Yes,” said Violet, “she is very kind.” 

“Not at all,” said the Princess modestly; “this is a very 
deserving case.” 

Before the day was over they had the names of all the poor 
pussycats in Tabbyland. These they gave to the Tabbyland 
Santa Claus when they called on him that evening at his ware- 
house on the snow-covered mountain. 

“Send them the best you have, Santa,” said the Princess. “I 
wish to make them all happy.” 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


1 55 


“It shall be done, your Highness,” said Santa. 

“Do you think you will have time to reach them all?” asked 
the Princess. 

“Since you gave me that air-ship last Christmas, your High- 
ness,” said Santa, “I have no trouble visiting all the homes in 
one evening.” 

“That is fine, Santa,” said the Princess. “You do your 
work very well.” 

“That is what I am here for,” said Santa smiling. 

“And what do you want for Christmas, Santa?” asked the 
Princess. 

“A few more stars in the sky, your Highness, to light the 
way. Sometimes it is so dark it is rather hard to find places. 
A few more stars would help.” 

“I will tell Louis Katorze, the court magician, to make 
them and put them in place by Christmas Eve.” 

“Thank you, your Highness.” 

“Oh, that is a trifle, Santa. Good-by ! And a merry Christ- 
mas!” 

“The same to you, your Highness. Good-by!” 

“Is n’t he the old dear!” exclaimed Violet as they departed. 

“Yes, he is very nice,” said the Princess. 

Every one was happy on Christmas Day — Violet especially, 
for the King told her he had secretly sent a letter to her mother 
and father inviting them to come to Tabbyland to live forever 
in the palace and they had accepted. “Then I don’t have to 
return!” exclaimed Violet joyfully. 

“No,” said the King. “Your mother and father will arrive 
on New Year’s Day. Rudolph will call for them in the royal 
balloon.” 


156 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


“Oh, goody! goody!” cried Violet. “Isn’t it wonderful, 
Prinny!” 

“Yes, Violet,” said the Princess, “It is a good idea.” 

Christmas dinner was a scene of great rejoicing. All the 
nobles and generals and members of the royal family were pres- 
ent. The King proposed a toast: “To the Princess Pauline 
who won the war! May she never leave the palace again to 
howl on back fences!” 

“But, dear Father,” said the Princess before the toast was 
drunk, “it was on a back fence that I learned to mee-ow so 
loudly. And was n’t it my loud mee-owing that frightened 
away the Dogland soldiers who wanted to steal the bullets? 
The back fence, dear Father, won the war as much as I did — 
Violet’s back fence.” 

“Very well,” said the King smiling. “Let us drink to the 
Princess and to Violet’s back fence that won the war!” 

“Bravo!” cried the diners again and emptied their glasses 
of catnip wine. 

Then the royal choir, from a balcony above, began to sing. 
And soon every one at the table clasped hands and, dancing 
merrily around the happy Princess and her dear friend Violet, 
joined the choir in their song: 

Princess that saved dear Tabbyland 
By howling mightilee, 

We ’re yours, as ever, to command 
Whate’er your wishes be! 

We purr a purr of purrfect bliss 
To see you free so soon 
And greet you joyously with this 
Invigorating tune: 


THE PUSSYCAT PRINCESS 


157 


CHORUS 

Three cheers for our good Princess. 1 

Mee-ow! mee-ow! mee-ow! 

We love her well and so we yell 
Mee-ow! mee-ow ! mee-ow! 

Salute our nohle Princess! 

Mee-ow! mee-ow! mee-ow! 

She is a dear and so we cheer 
Mee-ow! mee-ow! mee-ow! 

Oh, Princess, ask us anything; 

We ’ll do it on the spot! 

We love you as we love the King, 

And him we love a lot! 

We love you as we love our milk! 

And that is love devout; 

We think that you are fine as silk, 

And so we gaily shout: 

CHORUS 

Three cheers for our good Princess! 

Mee-ow! mee-ow! mee-ow! 

She ’s very kind and most refined! 

Mee-ow! mee-ow! mee-ow! 

Here ’s to her Royal Highness! 

Mee-ow! mee-ow! mee-ow! 

She won the war and so we roar 

MEE-OW! MEE-OW! MEE-OW-W-W-W! 









































